wahh... it's 4.33 and i havnt slept. and tmr working in comex from 10 to 9pm. wahh... T.T

read some reviews about macs... what drew me to them was their security features.. xp has 100k over viruses known but mac only has 2. ohman... but; the lightest macbook is still 2.3 kg. that's very very heavy. so no choice... hv to go for other brands. my april-bought laptop is already lagging upon startup.. dunno whether it's some stupid virus or what.. T.T system restored it le; it's still acting like an old grandmother... lol. dunno whether it's the msn virus. just got the 'cure' from josh.. hopefully it'll be better. actually; someone told me that laptopls can last 3 years max... wah... that time i used my acer for 5 years leh... lol...

now modern living is so expensive... every 3 years change laptop; very often some things crop up that require you to spend money... the worst is IT... haha. keep changing. now IT fair is like; 3 - 4 levels? ohmygoodness. and our salaries are staying stagnant.. or not rising fast enough to accomodate the rising standard of living.

maybe next time i'll work for a company which will buy me a laptop. hahaa.

actually; come to think of things; technology changes very very fast. i may want to buy something now, then in A FEW MONTHS' time, the tech improves and eg, a 3megapixel camera can be bought at the same price at a 4mp one. heartpain sia.

alamak... i find myself wanting so many things... wifi enabled phone, macbook... after that what ah... hahaa. oh i saw someone have this macbook which is like; half the size of the normal macbooks; and it's not listed in apple's website. wonder where she got it from... not that i got the money or the need to buy it. maybe after my fujitsu ka-puts in 3 years' time.

oh, my dad was explaining to me some laptop specs stuff. im positive i felt my brain sizzling. hahahaa.

the iphone looks... awesome. pity there are security probs w it. not like i got the money or need, again. hahaaa.

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crap. i just realised that sleeping late and waking up late is bad for the brain and liver. cause proper detox is not allowed to take place at it's optimum time; ie, at night. esp since it's holidays; i have a tendancy to sleep at like 5.30am and wake up 12 hours after that. ohboy. this is so bad.

actually in sec school; i always slept at abt 11pm.. but still always struggle with lack of sleep by the time i wake up at 6. why does the human body have to be so dysfunctional.. T.T

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OHMYGOSH. BIG NEWS. HAHA.

i just watched HEY! GORGEOUS on channel U just now. my sis and i were laughing non-stop at it lah. because the hosts kept ka-chiaoing the students!! they went into the library, went to the foodcourts, even the GYM where guys were working out. like, gosh lah. no privacy on the day they attack. hahaha.

we also felt that it was kind unfair that the person with the most number of votes didnt even make it into the school finals. seems like they want to move away from the campus superstar system where the person with the most no. of votes wins. maybe that's y the show is called 'hey gorgeous' and not 'hey popular'.


and really; i was quite traumatised by the show. hahaa. cause the first episode which aired today wasin ngee ann poly, i could imagine them some to sp and kachiao the students. and they ask siao siao questions!!! hahha. and... it's a dangerous time manz... imagine you getting caught on national tv with dyed pink hair like someone.... esp since it's not allowed in sp. and there was a couple lying down together on a cushion in the library when suddenly fiona and the other host came into the library and ka-chiao-ed them!!! goodness me. my sis and i were talking about the show as it went on.. and gradually at the 'talent show' segment, we couldnt bear to continue watching. haha.

but; in the show, the hosts really go around the school LOOKING for the top 3 most voted leh. and i read the hey gorgeous forums that alot of people really use hacking methods to increase the votes... and it's really very easy to do that lah.... and; cause they seached in the MORNING, where everyone is SURE to be in school, woe to you if you kena ka-chiaoed by them... XD

oh; also, i find that most of the time they go around campus SCOUTING for pretty girls/ handsome guys. like; the voting thing doesnt even hold much weightage right? quite unfair for those people who voted for their friends regulary and in actual fact; got more REAL votes than those who used hacking methods.

i thought i had missed the sp episode since they had done np le. and i thought they would hv finished scouting thru all the tertiary institutions listed then they air the show. but, they're coming to sp on 28 sept. and for a certain reason. i mark that date on my calendar. WHY???? cause kim bernice and me hang out all the time!!! and kim is going for it! ahhh!! OK, EVEN IF SHE'S NOT GOING FOR IT, it's SURE LIKE SIAO that the hosts will be coming to the business blocks. WHY?!?!? CAUSE; ALOT OF THE MOST VOTED STUDENTS ARE FROM BUSINESS. T.T walao leh. imagine they come to the foodcourt then me kim and bernice are happily EATING, MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESS, THEN THEY COME AND ASK TO 'INTERVIEW' KIM!!! AHHH!!!! i predict that bernice and me will be frightened out of our own skins before they can start asking "so how is her character like?" or "ta1 de4 ren2 qi4 zhen2 yang4?" which stands for 'how popular is she" or something like that. and yea. we'll have to answer. and our big faces will be broadcasted on national television. T.T BERNICE, WE SHALL PON SCHOOL ON THAT DAY. T.T

ok fine, you may be wondering, 'also not interviewing you; so scared for what...' EH. for some reason, i dont like to be on national television. i like to mind my own business and not risk saying something wrong on national television. even if they are asking some harmless question. lol. my sis and i were saying that many of the students dont know how to say diplomatic answers which wont bring out their faults. dont reflect well on them nevermind; but bringing out your faults is another thing. it's self-penalising. asking for trouble. lol. haha.

but anyways. actually; the voting thing does not matter. i think this show is mainly the hosts looking around in campus for the chio-est girls/shuai-est guys. then; imagine people watching the show will be like "she's not actually pretty lor" and commenting all sorts of things. sigh. dont like people to judge others based on their looks... hence sometimes i dont like these 'looks' talent shows... cause the audience wont be able to know how nice the person is in real-life, and just comment blindly. i guess that's what our society is driving us towards? esp the media. well. that's just my opinion.

EH. BERNICE. HOW?! WE PON SCHOOL ON FRIDAY K. XD HAHAHA. walao. imagine your friends in jc watching the show and go "EH THAT'S RACHEL!!" or "EH THAT'S BERNICE!!" T.T and we're innocent people just wanting to live life normally. hahaaa. oh; then imagine if they interview you, asking you about your friend, THEN, when people at home watching; then they'll go like "EH SHE GOT PIMPLE!! WAHAHA!!" T.T

THE WORST THING IS. IF SOMEBODY FROM OUR CLASS SABOH KIM. aka, somebody go up to the hosts and say 'eh my class got someone who's pretty'. AND SOME OF THE STUDENTS DID THAT IN NGEE ANN OKAY. THEN THE HOSTS COME UP TO OUR TABLE AND CHECK KIM OUT. T.T waaaa. faints man. if they come over while we're eating in the footcourt, I TELL YOU; I'LL HIDE UNDER THE TABLE. I HAVE A FEAR OF VIDEO CAMERAS. hahahaha. XD

REMEMBER. 28 SEPTEMBER. PON SCHOOL. LOL. actually i dont think i will pon lah. what for because of them pon hor. haha. i was just kidding de. haha. prolly stay in lecture hall for the entire time. wakaka.

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ohmigosh!! today was such a happening day. so many things going on...

anyways. i shall start from the top.

morning: went to funan for COMEX IT show briefing... wow.. so many things we nid to remember. plus they gave us a piece of paper with all the acer laptop specifications on it. gonna get my dad to explain every single detail to me.. since im not IT trained by course. not good if people ask me what that is and i don know how to explain right.. haha.

oh; i finally managed to get proper sleep. like; about 7 hours. cause i swam last night. NIGHTT. lol. my first time swimming at night... turned out not so freaky after all. actually, i always procrastinate in going to swim cause of the cold water.. i dont like getting used to it initially.. and needless to say; i dont like cold water. haha. but no choice... i think i may hv to do that everyday. otherwise insomnia will kick in. T.T

then... chatted with the rest of spse IT show people at macs for like 2 hours. hahaha. time passed so fast man..!!

anyways. i had an spse bookbuzz project meeting at 6pm; so darren and i went to esplanade library to do whatever we could for the proj... i designed the poster and cleared up alot of operating procedures with him... it's just so much to do until i can explode lah... it's been long since ive had that feeling. the last time was IDEA project. that just killed me lah. eventually, i realised that i felt mentally and emotionally drained... mainly because im afraid that the people in charge would not accept our proposal for this change. imagine doing up a nice proposal for 4 hours and it's not accepted... ohmygosh... will faint lah. but.. i guess doing this feels more rewarding than school projects like IDEA. idea is like; think so much, create so much, in the end you know that 99.99% that your idea or proposal will NOT be implemented. it's really really draining. cause you spend so much time on it and nothing comes out of it. fine, maybe it's the learning process that counts; but really, you cant possibly be getting nowhere after doing so much. it gets tiring after a while.

hence, i doubt i will be going into the events planning industry in the future. so many details to go into, so many people's considerations; i wonder how people last out long-term in those such industries. thou there was a period of time where i contemplated transferring to NP because it has this thru-train degree program to an advertising/events-planning uni which will be subsidised by the govt. got really pek chek that i went to sp. haha. had a talk with my parents; and gradually accepted the fact that i may not be able to ta-han in that industry for long. and it's true.. just school projects and this project is draining me. i havent found what i'm really good at; that'll take some time.. but the good thing is; i do not regret my choice in coming to business... yet... =) haha. hopefully i never will.

then... at 6 we met the rest of the team at plaza sing for a short meeting... i expected it to be longer; but i guess that since we planned out alot of things systematically; there wasnt the need to stay for very long. and two people hv to work tmr at 6am until 5.30pm tmr... really poor thing lah... so i shall see what i can do to help them lighten their load. mainly finalising the poster design i guess. and anyways; IT fair is from 30th aug to 2 sept.. so still got some time to do.

was wondering about jobs.... whether i would take up one which is high paying but i end up doing things that i dont like... things which i cannot develop anything from. i dont like a job whereby i sit there and wait for the time to pass by.. until it's time to knock-off. quite sian... there were some occasions whereby that happened to me... and i think i will try as much as possible not to take up those kinds... even thou the pay may be good.

so tired from the day that i eventually slept; until 1am. which is now. haha. wanted to swim; but it rained heavily in the afternoon. so yeah. procrastination again? hahaha. and yea; insomnia has kicked in already; making me unable to sleep now. this is so bad... wonder why im like that... most people dont hv to exercise and yet can sleep regulary. and some girls dont have serious period cramps like i do. thank goodness for intra; otherwise i'll end up having to swim everyday just to beat the cramps. and that is kinda impossible... considering that sometimes im so tired when ive come home from school. oh fyi, intra is a kind of health drink that has alot of chinese herbs in it. my mum thinks im lacking in some kind of mineral that's making me hv monthly cramps.... and ive come to appreciate traditional chinese medicine over western. prevention is definitely better than cure. why am i talking about all these? i dont know. hahahaa. im just having fun listing out my thoughts. hahaha.

i realise that i blog everyday. hahahaa.

oh; the leaders of the ccas are going for some leader's training in rendang... cant belive that there's actually a place called rendang?? hahaha. isnt that sheep meat or something? hahahah. they are travelling there by star virgo leh... posh sia.. then reach there le; still stay in quite a nice place... quite like hotel but not exactly there... and they only pay $120!! ahhh!! shuang man... hahaha... first time i hear sp subsidising so much.. usually if you wanna go for, eg, overseas trips, even those for students with GPA 3.5 and above de, still hv to pay like 2k ++... wahhhh....

they say first day of IT fair usually not many people de... esp since it's on a thursday... but quite silly lah. since the promotions will mostly be the same throughout the 4 days, might as well grab the good offers first. otherwise later when the crowds come on sat and sunday, there wont be much stock left? lol. and i don like to jostle with crowds. so that means that i dont go shopping on weekends. i go on weekdays only. hahahaa. such a non-conformist.. so i dont understand why people dont come on weekdays. lol. ok. im being irrational. people working mah. hahaha.

good thing i have tomorrow and the day after to relax with... dunno why i felt so tired after today.

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wah.. so many things happened today until i feel stone-ded.. T.T

first; went to a new church for chinese service.. refreshing change from english. then cause the speaker couldnt speak chinese well; they had an interpreter... keke. so not an absolute chinese service lah. =) i was very very sleepy.. slept 2.5 hours cause of insomnia..

then when i finally got home i slept till 6. haha. about 1 to 6. then went to swim just now... wow; it's the first time in so long that i actually hv the self-control to swim so much and for so long. need to build up my immunity for IT fair. lol. not much diff lah. considering that IT fair is this thurs. ohmygosh. i need strength and health...

got over some things... gradually accepted them as part of my past. i have to move on; learn from those mistakes. i hate making mistakes..... i wish i never did. i know it's so foolish to refuse to listen to the wiser ones. and yet i let myself fall into the situation. yet, it's inevitable for humans to make mistakes. despite that; i will not let that be the excuse to make more mistakes... you dont have to make all of them to learn that you should not do it again. sometimes we can hear people say 'dont do this', but you still do it because you think that you know better... that you want to live your own life... but actually, they say it to protect you. and by not listening; you are choosing to put yourself in danger of hurt. it's inevitable..

i dont want to take for granted what i have... i want to learn to listen. to stop hurting myself. because, that is what i have been doing. sigh. the stupidity and rebellion of human nature.

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hm... finally decided on what i want to take for gems... with my dad's opinions.

business- real estate valuation, Quality Management
science- creative digital podcasting
arts- Effective Negotiation Skills

yeah; so if nothing goes wrong, i should be taking those modules for the next 2 years plus. really like this gems thing.. allows you to choose what you want to take.

i know np has this interdisiplinary studies thing as well.. nyp as well.. thou i prefer the gems in sp. why am i comparing polys? cause often i regret coming to sp cause of the distance.... dunno why i so stupid lah. lol. i wanted to choose nyp but everyone says that if i wanna go poly better go sp or np... i guess there's some part of the poly ranking as well..? but gah. the travel is really ridiculous.

plus; i had one senior who stayed in tampines and went to sp... then in the end she got so fed up with travelling so much eveyday that she eventually transferred to tp for her last semester of her 3 years. unbelievable isnt it. haha.

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ouch ouch ouch. i TWISTED my left finger. now i cant write. ACKKKK. good thing econs exam is over.

know how i twisted it?? i was trying to open a glass bottle. and i seriously didnt feel myself twisting it so badly. now im handicapped on my left hand. haha.

i feel so dysfunctional. lol.

i wish life was simpler. or that humans were simpler creatures, like single-celled amoebas. hahaha.

so many things i dont understand.

i want to be a child again.

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finally exams are over.

then again, we are never spared of exams; and we've only completed a leg of the race.

ridiculously sleepy now. slept very little. not because of studying.


i guess ive come to realise the importance of friends. and many more.

it's hard. it's really, really hard. i need to get through this.

thankyou to those who were there for me when i needed you. you guys really made it so much better. :)

it's time to learn from our mistakes. and move on.

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ohgosh. after years of silently hoping that i will not be tagged; this misfortune has finally befallen me. -.-" LOLL.

was TAGGED by MAY.
Rules of the game: each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. people who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. at the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. no tagbacks!

1) I eat alot.

2) i'm underweight. haha. i think anyone can see that.

3) my hair grew 2 inches in 1 week. according to eunice; it's because of my high metabolic rate. (which im dearly thankful for cause i'll never grow fat. haha.)

4) i browse firefox extensions when i'm bored. -- it's like SHOPPING without the cost. haha.

5) i slept for 15 hours in the past 24 hours. *screams: PIGG!!* hahhaa.

6) i accidentally dropped my previous nokia 6288 in the toilet. -- yeah yeah. laugh away. haha.

7) i'm 3/4 vegetarian. -- somehow i get slightly put-off by eating meat. but i still eat them sometimes.

8)

9)

10)

ok i cant think of the rest at the moment. and i shall spare people from the trauma of having to fill 10 things in. haha. so this chain shall stop at me. ^.^

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I ALMOST GOT A HEART ATTACK.

WHY????

MY STUPID DESKTOP CLOCK DATE WAS SET TO 22 AUG.

AND WHEN I CHECKED THE DATE OF THE ECONS EXAM; 23 AUG, MY HEART LITERALLY STOPPED BEATING.

THAT SO COSTED ME YEARS OF MY LIFE.

SO YEAH. IM SUCH A GOON-DU. -.-"

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it has got to be so wrong; being so free while people are studying away. hahahaha.

hm; last week i spent the first half of the study week working; then spent like 3 days studying for pacc only. and only because i fell sick; so that stopped me from working. hur. but now, working really got me super tired that i would rather stay at home and do random stuff like making blogskins. which got me irritated after a while; so i'll stick to figuring out what i want to take for GEMS.

and about gems. i realised that i can actually learn anything i want from there; as long as i have the time. and all i have to do is borrow the textbook or get it as an e-book. lol.... so now i just want a gem which is easy to score in. they said the math puzzle thing is easy to score; but ohmygosh; that will bore me to death.

hm... better stock up immunity for IT fair... and yes i'll be working for that this coming end of aug to 2 sept. loads of talking coupled with standing for 12 hours plus... better not fall sick.

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i almost got a heart attack from blackboard. checked out the 'my grades' portion and saw that one of my scores was like 40 something upon 100. then i saw that that was the average grade; not my grade. lol. why did i even bother checking out that part. the weightage isn't even set. hurhur. scare myself.

and goodness.... sp's library website is really comprehensive. the best thing is; they subscribe to quite a few e-book website suppliers. so we have access so LOADS of textbooks and e-books without paying. which means i dont hv to take up GEMS on that topic if i wanna learn it. ok, technically i can just borrow a book on say, 'how to do java' from the library. but i really don't like to borrow books. cause there's a time limit. ohmygosh... lovelovelove the school library manz...

however, they do not have the actual e-books for most of the recommended textbooks for GEMS, so for that you gotta borrow the books yourself. argh.

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wahz. so many thoughts running through my mind.

i blog everyday. ohmygosh. craziness.

i spent the whole day reading forums. -.-" like sgclub.com. it's really fun lahz. cause i think i cannot do vigorous exercise yet as im still abit sick. so can only get rid of this lethargy like 2-3 days later... my sis wants me to join this varsity volleyball team on sunday afternoons. they play volleyball tgt for fun... n hv friendly competitions with other teams too. yeah; today i got a lil addicted to volleyball. i get the *ZINGG! feeling whenever i play; according to eunice. wakaka.

econs exam is next week; so i still can slack for a while eh. ^.^ im having the holiday feeling already. haha.

hm; reading the forums; it's kinda scary how low the starting pay for poly grads is... then i was relating it to my work. really want to be financially secure by retirement. actually; i dont know why im worrying or thinking so much about the future for.... so many things can change. my mindset, my expectations, etc.... i dont want to be super rich; i just want to have enough, be contented and live life happily. money will never be enough... if we always want to compare opportunity cost; might as well compare against paris hilton whose very existence has provided her with financial wealth.

then i was thinking about many people who spent many years pursuing a diploma or degree in a certain area; spend so much time studying in that field; in the end come out to work; they change industries. isnt that quite wasted? which makes me feel sometimes that what we study now may not even be applicable. have heard so many stories about engineers who go into sales/banking etc... then what's the point of studying engineering in the first place... waste so much money, time and effort. thou engin degrees are highly looked upon. the complexities of life... some so oxymoronic. too complicated for my puny brain to comprehend.... that's why... im really too practical for my own good... gahhh....

ohh... another thing i was thinkng about... didnt understand why teachers, who were students at first, want to go into a teaching career.. for the money? it's like, the education goes one big round. makes me think about how people keep saying a degree is so impt; then when the student comes out of uni; he/she ends up being a teacher. i found that such a waste of talent.. cause that person could hv done other things like being an accountant or something. sigh. nearly everything is done for money... ohmygosh.... i hate growing up... i want to be stuck in my own world so that i dont have to think about the gazillion complexities of being an adult... hahahaa. i sound like a kid. hahaha.

wish life was simpler... well... all i know now is... the important thing is not to be stressed. to live healthily. to be happy in whatever you do. otherwise... you'll feel tired of living eventually.

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goodness... finally accounts exam over....

im sooo gonna get full marks for this exam. XD

YEAH RIGHT.

the day that happens, is the day the moon can eat the sun. 0.o

i need to totally buck up on my accounts man. i better not forward module for accounts. waste money and time.

i was hysterical when accounts ended. oh; 20 mins before the paper ended, i had already stopped writing. cause; i SO totally didnt know how to do it. so confusing. may stopped writing beside me like 15 mins before. and we were smiling to each other. wakkaa.

oh; then moon in front of me was coughing so badly. poor thing.. so many sick people today. stupid virus going about. and stupid me for not exercising regulary. really ignorant lah.. i should start playing tennis with my sis every week at least once.

my mum was saying how im ghastly underweight. -.-" and i was saying how i cant help it cause my metabolic rate is just so fast. eunice (my sis) says that if you hv a high metabolic rate; your fingernails grow very fast and your wounds heal fast. eh; guess i fit that criteria. how to fatten up... lol..... i eat so much... all burn up lah. -.-"

ohmygosh... holidays are coming coming coming!!! end of aug to end of sept. one step at a time; soon we'll finish econs mst. then hols. ^.^

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hm. guess different sales on different days at different places really differ. so cant really compare. even thou at orchard it's SUPPOSED to be higher. but not necessarily. so i should stop blaming myself. and kim you shouldnt too. cause it's impossible for our sales to hit target all the time.

fever gone; can feel that im healing le...

exam tmr. jia you all. and all who are taking exams.

hm; from prelims onwards; everytime i take exam, i feel like im ina bath-tub. so relaxed. hahaha. like what amanda said last time. hahaha. just superly glad that im more relaxed about exams as compared to previously. now exams dont stress me out one bit. and im not being sarcastic. cause in the future; these exams or the grades will be of little importance in the working world. just like how little our psle matters now. so just study. and dont stress people.

jiayou to all.

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at least my fever is gone. woke up every hour cause of the fever. then kept drink some herbal drink to cool myself down.. then end up keep going to the toilet also. haha.

woke up at 2.30pm. was shocked when i saw the clock. haha. well considering that i didnt have a very good slp throughout the night.

my mum and dad says that my nose thingy is caused by too much aircon/dry air during work. the back of my nose is bleeding; the tissue thingy there. think it's cause my nose is too dry; hence the skin split.. im thinking it's what the pple at IT fair are experiencing... too much air con is really very bad for you. heard that the group of them coughed blood after IT fair. goodness me.

sent in my resume for the IT fair; not sure whether i should accept; if they ever contact me. after experiencing this consequence from dry air. well. hope they reject me then? then i'll hv to find another job for the hols eh.

hm; i realised that im becoming 'stronger'.. last time if i had fever, i wouldnt be able to tahan. plus cough and a bleeding nasal passage... but yesterday i could self-help and cure myself. haha. even had the energy to walk back and forth from the toilet so many times.... reminds me of my dad when he had 38+ degrees fever and still seemed normal. haha. i guess we do grow stronger with each sickness. thou it does vary from case to case.

accounts on monday is at 6pm. im sure they purposely made it so late for us to study more... but it just makes me feel more scared cause im responsible on how i spend that extra time. should study. but was discussing with bernice how we've totally lost our motivation. esp after chionging for Os... all these seem so meaningless and useless. sigh. what to do. no choice.

cant wait for hols. well. let's just take 1 step at a time.

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im sick sick sick...

not working from today to sunday. hving fever, cough, nasal irritation. working hazard.. haha.

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dunno how come everytime i come home from work i got so many things to talk about.. haha.

lets start from the depressing things. so many... today sales hit $850 plus. not even close to my 2k target. i nid to hit the target otherwise i cant get 1% commission of the sales. very sad. cause; it's not even close. and i thought cause it's national day so more pple will be at ps. there was; in the afternoon. by 6 it was alr a ghost town. my friend told me "you tell your supervisor lor; pple go home watch prime minister talk in english, chinese, malay. where got pple wanna buy language cd?" wakaka. so funny lahhh. fyi i dont only hv lang cd lah. got games, hobbies cd n stuff.

sigh. think im like; the lousiest sales person ever. lol.

was kinda sad about something. cause actually IT fair for acer laptops; there were 3 spaces left. then cause the rest including darren took the job; i couldnt do IT fair. was kinda disappointed at first; cant deny. but then i remembered God's promise... that everything happens to me for a reason... that he wants good for my life; not bad.... and that got rid of my disappointment. there are other jobs... other opportunities. sigh. sometimes; when i think that a certain thing that happens to me really has no good at all; im surprised at how it was actually for my own good that it happened. eg a p4 student wanting a hp at such a young age but parents dont allow cause they know she is not capable of being responsible of that hp. i guess it's the same case. and i should learn to trust in God's judgment and timing.

today i mingled alot more with my colleagues.. haha. not rli colleagues lah; they are best denki de. then im supplier de. quite different. just tt we work side by side only. they v funny and cute... hahaa. and the best thing is; i dont even know their names. even till now. -.-"

i guess that's why; some people are fated to be your super best friends; some your good friends; some your friends, others your acquaintances... timing and character-matching play a part as well... eg most of our best friends are from schooling days. where we hold that memory in our hearts. different people play different roles in our lives.

oh. not working till sunday le. got darren to replace me. cause; i got throat irritation from standing there for too long; cause upstairs the people cook stuff for customers; then the oil particles waft down to the concourse... ended up coughing like siao when i got home... thought i got some viral infection but in fact it was the bad air quality. that really made me sort of phobic of shopping centers le.. cause the oil smell is very bad when it enters your lungs. quite sure it sticks to the inner part of your bronchioles and alveoli. yucks. gonna be staying away from shopping centers even more... unless they don hv open air frying of food.

actually; i didnt wana work today le. but wen i called my supervisor; he sounded abit irritated that i last-min contacted him tt i couldnt work... he said that he cant find someone to work in such short notice. then i realised that i was being really irresponsible... so well, at least this time i managed to get darren to replace me.... so at least im being responsible.. =)

hm; parents seem sympathetic.... my mum actually took out food for me when i came back... poured some herbal drink for me in a cup. they rarely do that. i guess it's cause today she didnt need to work cause it's nat holiday, so naturally her mood is better. my dad still doesnt talk to me. much. either he just doesnt bother to or feels that he cannot communicate with a teenage daughter. lol. sometimes the gap is really there. me and my sis cannot talk to him. neither to my mum actually. only when she doesnt nid to work, then she will hv the time to talk to us. dunno. maybe it's like that for many teens too. not everyone can get along well with their parents. but it also does seem like; absence makes the heart grow fonder. if i stay at home all the time; there's bound to be friction with them. so; sometimes the advice of 'spending more time with them' does not hold true.

finally hv time to rest properly from tmr onwards.

was talking to that acer guy about jobs... then he did IT fair b4; then he said that it's v tiring... standing for 12 hours plus non-stop; talk non-stop. then he said "once you sit down; you'll feel like you're in heaven" hahaa. but well; it did make me think that; if you've gone thru hardship in life; you'll feel more contented if your life is going fine... more appreciative of the good; and not grow complacent of the smoothness in your life. contentment is really impt to happiness... well; ive been experiencing that. hahaha. cause of my active tastebuds, ive been craving for so many foods.. hahaha. that's the bad thing about living in s'pore. with so much good food everywhere... haha. but at least on the job; im restricted in buying food... in eating... my lunch and dinner is made up of bread. haha. mainly cause i dont bother to hv a proper meal lah. hahaha. so many pple. then wear the company shirt and eat; so weird. hahaa.

sigh. still coughing.

dunno if i hv the motivation to study pacc.... i dunno... i dunno so many things now. i feel limited in so many ways. in understanding, patience, ability, everything. i cant count the number of times i wish i was perfect. lol... another reason why i didnt wana work today was cause i felt tt my supervisor could get a better salesperson to replace me; but when he got irritated; i felt really sian.... want to do him a favour also kena him being irritated at me... lol... walk this way got problem; walk that way also got problem.... don walk also got problem... lol. haha.

crap. now i cant slp well at night. thanks to my cough. sigh. health is really impt.... my mum said that; you work so hard; in the end the money give back to doctor... hahaa.

dont wish to stop blogging... cause i feel better after i blog... anw.... thank you for the encouragements.... thru sms; tag, call... i feel so loved and appreciated... ^.^ haha. thank you my dears..

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today sales was super bad. about $500 only. as compared to kim's. cause she's in west mall. supposed to hv fewer pple than in plaza sing. and her sales are equal to, or better. v depressed lah.... my selling skills v lan? lol.

today there were like super few people at ps... as compared to friday n weekends; where on escalators there will be a steady stream of people. needless to say; my commission for today has gone out of the window. nid to hv 1.4k of sales then can get 1% of commission. plus my face and non-existent reputation gone down the drain le. work in ps still hv so horrible sales...

i was very depressed lah. then i called ber... ber never fails to make me cheer up can... ^.^ haha. sigh... well, just hearing her say 'it'll be alright', was enough for me... enough to remind me that failures are part of life... not everything works out all the time.

then... made friends with the guy selling acer laptops beside me... he's from np biomech.. then maybe he slightly pek chek about me lamenting about my sales... hahaha. then he told me that sometimes hv to count on luck..... thou i dont believe in luck exactly; but well, not everyday will go well all the time.... sigh... well, if this continues on, i can only say that it's not the traffic flow; it's me. lol. hv yet to see.

anw..... on a lighter note. we talked about laptops. yeah. what do you expect. talk to guys is either talk about laptops or electronics. -.-" then i said that acer quality no good; but he say acer quality getting better le... hahaha. but fun lah. then veryvery funny. one customer was asking how the laptop got surround sound. then he describe until like 'you know, the sound like go all around you... until like got surround sound.." I WAS GONNA LAUGH UNTIL I EXPLODE LAHHH. but cause got customer there mah; so cannot scare her away.. hahahahaa. so funny lah!!! as if that was not enough; he still continued to try to explain to her how the laptop got surround sound.... hahahahahahaa. hilarious.... that made my day lah. otherwise i would have been a super depressed pig when i came home.

gah anyway... there was this customer who made my day too... two customers actually. one was a middal aged lady; very hip mum. asked me how i dl games into my phone. which is like; illegal lah.. hahaha. still ask... hahaha. then she gave me her hp no; then she's coming back on fri... stll hv to sms her the website url. haha.

then got this filipino expat.. managed to carry out a fruitful conversation with him... on how learning languages we nid software cause relying on the internet to learn is really very hard... i tried b4. talk alot lah. anw i was kinda sian abt my sales le; by that time it was night. so talking made me feel better. haha. then; he wanted to get an iq test software; and if i was the kind to push my sales; i would hv talked crap and said how good it is that u can test yr iq and stuff.. but i didnt... instead i said that there's alot of those iq tests on internet le... don hv to buy... cause i myself don believein tt software; so why would i recommend it... i will only recommend those i really think it's useful. which is majority of it lah. only one or two which i dont feel pple really nid lah. otherwise, even those similiar to photoshop software are better than photoshop. cause photoshop nid to learn so many things. learn until sian.. might as well get the software. save time. cause they got so many pre-made stuff. if i got the money.... sure buy le... hahahaha. but that's like; i'll never have the money can. hahaha.

lol. so long paragraph. my point is that; i will nv talk crap abt software i dont believe in just to push my sales..... wonder if that's my weak point.... still v sad about my sales; but.... trying to think about it like my pacc and econs ca1... scored so badly. 60+... i still studied for ca2 lah.. then econs was better but pacc was still bad; but at least i maintained my score instead of dropping... sigh.... so often i dont see what's the point... keep questioning..... so what, so what, so what... and why, why why.... why kim's sales better than mine... y i so lan.. lol. supervisor sure v pek chek abt my incompetence.... newcomer better than me. hahaha. sigh. not like i nv try. i dunno... i dunno... i dunno...... i got so many things wrong with me lah. not smart enough; not good enough at sales; school results also not say super good.... i dunno.... feel like there's so many bad things about me...

but.... that's where friends come in... really.... not everyone can be the best all the time.. we need people to remind us that we are only human... that if im not good at one thing; i need not feel guilty.... just move on and try to find something else you're good at. friends' encouragements can really heal a broken heart... =)

ah i typed so much... cause... today i learnt so much... you know; i was actually suicidal after i got back my pacc, econs and stats results after ca1... cause i really put in alot of effort..... in the end; come back all Cs. at least now econs got an A. sigh. can really see the truth in hassan's quote.. haha. success is not final; failure should not be fatal. i like the success part... cause it's really true.... you can hv success at one point of life; and fail at another.

thank goodness for friends....

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stupid insomnia is coming back....

it's 8am now... working from 1 to 10pm from today to sunday. well at least i can study in the mornings. cause really; im quite sian of studying alr. no motivation. yes; in poly still no motivation. wakaka.

pacc ca2 got 64... wa.... i expected to fail. oh, i only got the marks now cause i got my paper from her only ytd. this one tyco de lah. i didnt even bother adding up all my assets and liabilities for p&l cause i doubted i even classified them properly. first time also 64 i think.... so it's like, paper hard or easy i still get 60 something... hahaha.... dunno whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

hear of people repeating core modules in year two... ohmygosh... i dont want to repeat any module.. waste time, waste money. so must study. lol.

yay... kim and i working le... bernice still pek chek about her job cause only a few hours on weekends... hai... girl ah.. faster find in jobcentral hor... then we all can earn money together!! haha. really happy to get this job... cause the boss is super super nice... timing quite flexible and pay is abit above average... abit lah. thou sometimes im abit sian seeing people earn $10 an hour... but not all of us can be so fortunate right... i should just be contented alr, since 9/10 of the job factors im looking for were accomplished. ^.^

shall go n try to slp until 11.30am.. otherwise hv to last till 10pm would really be very hard.

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today was much much better. and neither kim nor me nor anyone has to work at that place where i once worked anymore. ;) happy happy me!

anw, for my job, it's usually not in one location. they have road shows like all over singapore. hahaa. tmr im taking a break... then doing full-time from wed to sunday. it's fun... im glad i enjoy my work. =)

oh, today didnt start off well. had horrible period cramps in the middle of the night; cause i havent been drinking my intra for the past 2 wks. silly me... sigh. wanted to faint so bad in the mrt. so weak and didnt hv energy to even stand. then when i reached dover station, i saw sophia near the toilet there.... n i just collapsed near the glass window.. hahaa. must hv given her a shock. ;) then when melissa came, she said i looked like a depressed and suicidal girl looking out of the window. hahahaa. then i used melissa as a crutch all the way to class.... before that soph bought panadol pink for me... which reminds me; i wasnt in the state to think; so i forgot to return her money... haha. shall do so tmr. ;) thank you melissa and soph... what would i do without you two.. =))

yeah; so walking to our class; people must hv thought mer and i were les. LOL. cause i was leaning onto her like a love-sick puppy. 0.o LOLLLL. more like a SICK puppy. 0.o haha.

for ec; we had to watch a video of someone giving a speech. i must say; she's very good. =) i enjoyed her performance so much; my mind couldnt concentrate on answering the stupid questions. it was like watching a play. haha. =)

then work.... ok.. sales LOADS better than at my previous place.. =) i kinda pity my supervisor... he's in his late 20s. then he has a full time job; this part time one; and studies in SIM.... goodness me.... and he still has the patience and time to tahan my in-prompt-to calls about 'when the roadshow will end' and 'how come this language don hv the full pack' and all the stuff the customers ask me. haha. feel really bad having to call n disturb him all the time... but he hasnt lost his temper with me... YET. ;)

itab tmr.... weeee. lol. the only revision ive done is the revision exercises. tmr meeting ber and kim at 12... that's probably the only other revision we're gonna hv. 0.o

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today was much better. cause the irritating guys were not working. hahaha.

anw; kim wants to work there on saturday. they will go crazy over her manz. hahahaha.

tmr working again after ec test... at another location thou.

im so tired.

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first day of work. shall not reveal the location or company..haha. cause these things are quite sensitive. anyway; today didnt really go well. thou i was doing the work i thought i would love; i didnt expect that my passion for it would die down...

on top of that; the culture there. very flexible timing and all; like, i dont hv a boss breathing down my neck like before; but now.... i get very uneasy at work. because; im at the software side; then right beside me is the laptop side. and the people who work there are nearly all guys who are about 25-29 years old. and very shuai. lol. but either married or got gf kae. lol.

but; for some reason, i feel very intimidated. LOL. cause; maybe they dont dare to talk to me? as in; they did come over a few times to sa jiao; then they'll go back to their 'old pple' group to talk amongst themselves. haha.

maybe it's the age gap. but in nav, that sort of thing doesnt happen, despite the age gap. feel like a loner when i go there... sigh. why is it that when i get what i want; it's not the ideal... and when i think it is; it's not. and it's dangerous because; sometimes these things not only hurt me; but others as well... sigh. the grass always seems greener on the other side.

sigh. now im wishing that there are people around my age there. in my previous job there was; but er, people is people; personality is another thing.

the more im growing up; the more i find the world getting increasingly complicated.... i wish things could be simpler. sigh.

yes, sorry for the depressing post... haha. feeling that way today. hope tmr goes better. =/

stood for 9.5 hours non-stop except for lunch n dinner break. im feeling like jelly now. feeling so tired that im too tired to sleep. LOL. wonder if that even makes sense. =/

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ohmygosh im so so so tired. just came back from tennis with my sis. one of the rare times where we spend time tgt. heh. i still hv a brother; p6. ha. guess i dont talk abt them often. =/

played for one hour. and i dont think i could move another finger. played for one hour le, then when i asked her what time is it; she was like, 'hm, played for 20-30 mins only?' then went to see the time and we played for one hour le. siaoooo. that girl is so athletic. not like me. lazy pig who whole day spends free time on the laptop doing photoshop. HEHH. XD she has muscles leh... scary..... later next time hard to find boyfriend... hahahah. but she's like, 'do i care?' haha. wish i had her same attitude. save me alot of crush troubles. =/ hahaa.

anw. tmr im starting work as a software promoter. i like the culture already. sort of 'quit' the previous one cause... it's really not suitable for me. fold clothes all the time. in the end; i dont hv time for myself, my leisures, or even time to catch up with the news. this one is so flexible. =)

mob... hm, que sera sera. whatever will be, will be. haha. it's kind of a motto i live by. dont worry about so many things. as long as you've done what you can, just leave it to God.

goodness. im feeling so limp. like the flaccid semi-permeable membrane that we played with in bio. hahahhaa. XD

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OHMYGOSH IM DELIRIOUS.

yea, there may be some smart-asses out there who knew how to change the settings of this new blogger to accept blogskins template. if you keep encountering xml errors (which have so plagued and tormented me), click the revert to classic template at the bottom of the part where you edit the html. i thought i was stuck with that problem forever, until i was desperate enough to look for help in the blogger help area. gosh. i shall always remember to look for help next time when i need it. GAH. this caused me so much agony. -.-"

mob ca3 tomorrow. oh joy. somebody save me before mob kills me.

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