went to churchy then met jason at amk station to borrow his calculator.

the story is that i bought the fiancial calculator cos both my calculators spoilt le. and until now i forgot to get the sticker of approval, and my finance paper is tomorrow.

so i met jason the royal bigness.. and he still retains his title even after entering ns.. XD

thanks loads ah long! =D

studying with nina and ber yesterday at amk macs was fruitful.. managed to redo the past year papers.. but later still need to revise the tutorials. but once im at home i dont have anymore motivation!! ahh!!

please kick me to study!! =X

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because of what happened yesterday, i told jh i wanted a break up. cos i felt like if i can be so detestable to those people in my class, then id rather reject myself first so that i can spare myself the hurt, rather than if he breaks up with me for some unknown reason. guess im still in abit of trauma from the previous rs ba.

basically he wouldn't unless the reason was really good, and after telling him the situation he felt that it was ridiculous, lol.

bernice also asked why i did that when he is the person i need most now. i guess it's part of a pre-emptive nature of mine to prevent things from happening in case they do.

of cos, in the end we didnt break up. he knows me better than anyone else, and all i can do is hope that they dont hold anything against me.

i wish these kind of things will pass away.


thank you kimmy dear, i love you! =D

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really sorry if i seemed bo chap the past few months. and if i pissed anyone out during that period, im sorry too. it wasnt intentional.

things are not going well for me. when your health is low, everything goes low.



thank you dear for always knowing how to make me feel better. <3


thank you bernice for sticking by me. :)


thank you aron for your concern. :)


thank you shao-ey for your concern too. :)




anw, bought a smocked tube dress online for $10.20





















bought the white one. helped natalie to buy a red one too, cos it's so affordable. quality is quite good; almost negligible flaws. and no postage costs cos i met them at bishan for cash on delivery.

anw this is their shop:
shopoverhere.

guess what, they're 12 year olds who study in my ex primary school, AND they have the same form teacher as me. hahahaa. total coincidence can. :)

wanted to get another dress and kimono blouse for nat and me but no instocks yet. it's really more fun to shop with friends. :) and best thing is that it's so easy to collect cos they stay in bishan too. haha.


im still quite hurt. not going to be easy to forget about it.

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went to school for 1 hour to take conb exam.. ok la.

thank you my dear classmates for your concern.. :))

back to school tomorrow after about 1 week of not going school.. :)

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*caution* the following contains graphic information. dont read ahead if you cant take it.

the past two days in hospital were hell for me.. preparation for colonoscopy was really traumatic.

monday:

doctor gave me laxative to clear my colon. literally lived in the toilet. and supposed to shit until your shit becomes yellow or white liquid, then means yr colon is clean. only then the doc can see what is wrong inside. the laxatives are the vilest things i have ever been made to drink. tastes like factory chemicals. wished i could die on the spot; after drinking it you will feel like puking and shitting. headache, nausea and gag reflex all acting at once. traumatic night.. all the way until 10pm when the horror stops and i can finally talk to jh on phone... talking to him was really all i looked forward to to make me get through that day.

tuesday:

slept at 12am and was woken up at 6am to drink the stuff again.. nausea was so bad i vomitted. then the doctor told the nurse to give me injection so that i dont vomit out the laxative, otherwise no use drinking it. already feel so horrible vomitting, now they want to give me injection... goodness gracious.. i am very very scared of needles so told the nurse i didnt want the injection. and by then the nausea had subsided le. then they moved me to a 2 bed room so that i can use the toilet all i want and wont inconvenience ppl. (i was in a 4 bed room) the senior nurse is so nice..

finally whatever came out was clear le. imagine shit is brown/black and i cleared until it's light yellow liquid, rofl. my colon is freaking clean can. haha. so tired that i slept for 1 hour till 11am came.

was wheeled into the colonoscopy room where they injected my right hand with anesthesia. i am very very very scared of needles... when they injected the liquid inside it was so pain.. plus the fact that i dont have any fats at all, all the pain goes to the nerve and bone.. the nurse also said that fats will absorb some pain, but i dont have any at all on my hand. haha. so after 1 sec i knocked out and the doc put a tube up my ass to check my colon for stuff like cancer growth which could have been causing the pain.

woke up at 12 plus in the normal ward. my mum and sis were there le. i was very sub-conscious, haha. anesthesia havent stopped it's effect yet. after a while it lost it's effect and my hand and ass hurt like crap. after a few hours, my bum stopped hurting and my hand hurt more than my bum, haha. it's still pain now thou. dad says it takes a few days to heal. heng she inject my right hand, cos i use left hand to write. haha.

thank God nothing major is wrong with me. i got the scope scan pictures; there's a deep and big gash up my ass. so doc gave me more antibiotic and cream.. need to control diet too..

happy that it's finally over.. im so glad to return to normal life without chemical tasting laxative.

God help me.. my life is filled with pain every other day..


thank you God for Your grace and faithfulness to me,
thank you dear for everything, i love you.
thank you everyone for your concern..
and thank my mum for making food that i can eat.. :)

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today it got so jialat then i left hrm halfway and didnt return for lesson.

really sorry to my classmates at how moodless i was. really thankful for all your concerns..

very thankful that i have jh and ber to help me thru. i love you two. :)

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today went to school in the morning for gems and a few lectures.. i didnt want to go initially cos need to wake up so early, but my mum didnt manage to secure an appt with the doc so just go in case in the morning cannot book..

end up the doc was on holiday, so my dad just looked up the phonebook to look for a female gastrologist.. anw just fyi gastrology is the medical study of the stomach and its diseases. so got an appt at 3..

good thing i went for gems in the morning, even thou it was a waste of time, at least i got to pick a good slot for my gems presentation so that don need to wake up so early.

so at 3 went there.. the doc abit weird weird de... haha... as in she like got some attitude haha. but she's v experienced. so anw monday i need to admit into hospital for scoping and if they see anything wrong inside need to surgically remove immediately.. hope they dont find anything.

then tuesday finish and should be able to go back ba.

then thursday is conb exam le... sigh.

hai i lost weight again.. from 42 become 40. lol. i wanted to stay on liquid diet cos if i eat solid food is pain.. but i sometimes really cannot take it and just eat de..

school got no food that i can eat lo.. i can only take soft soft meals.. preferbly boiled clear soup, no foodcourt sells that.. arrgh. need to make myself in the morning and bring to school..?

this period is really tough.. part of it im to be blamed for not seeing doc early...

really thank jh, ber and my mum for helping me thru it.. jh prevents me from eating certain stuff and it helps alot.. my mum's cooking is nice and good for my condition so nowadays i find myself wanting to come home to eat instead, haha. this is the difference a mother's cooking makes... it's just different from a maid's cooking.

only recently then she stopped chionging her real estate business and start taking care of us.. but still making like same amt of money as a full time employee lol. guess that's the good thing abt staying in a line of work for a long time. people see you as a professional in the area.. same logic as in a company i guess. if you stay in a coy for a long time, you will be regarded as a senior, as opposed to if you job hop.

well that's just what has been happening so far. cant go for sec sch reunion cos of conb exam rawr.

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sometimes i wonder why girls pursue education and career so much.. i guess it all voices down to the choice of lifestyle that you want to have in the future. but there are different types of results.

1. choosing career over children. which is what my mum chose. the end result is that there is not much family bonding and stress is prevalent in the house, cos both the husband and wife come home with working troubles.

not forgetting the constant problems that having a maid brings. my siblings n i hv had maids all our lives and i will never have a maid in my own family. so many problems arise just from having one, that finally my mum is so tired of them she doesnt want one anymore and has decided to become a part time housewife, haha. cos she still is doing her business part time. the last straw was that the last maid used my mum's hp to call her family in secret.

actually i really pity maids.. it's not easy to come to a foreign country and not be able to see their relatives for such a long time. plus the fact that the agencies are very harsh on them... do you know that usually their contracts with employers are 2 years, but the first year is used to pay the agency back.. so effectively they work for 1 year for nothing. and when they are waiting for employers to choose them in the agency, they are given instant noodles or plain rice with vege to eat almost everyday. and if they are employed for, lets say, 3 months, but trouble arises and the employer takes the maid back to the agency, the maid has to restart that 1 year of payment to the agency all over again?

every maid we got is the same... begining she will be very hardworking, but a few months go by and troubles come up.. hai... maybe that's why i dont really like to crowd myself with alot of friends, hahaha. everytime get attached to the current maid, then for some weird reason my mum sends her back to agency.. end up it's been ingrained in me since young not to be so emotionally attached to many people.. i guess that's y throughout my life, ive had one good friend each in primary, sec and poly only. haha. not to say i dont hv other friends la.. but 1 good friend is enough to make me contented le.haha.

but anyways, about women and career.. 18 years with her oldest child has been lost. and hence now im finding it hard to relate to her as a mum.. not cos she hasnt been doing her duty as a mum, but rather that for all those years we couldnt tell her anything without it backlashing on us when she gets stressed...

hence im wondering how come women these days are putting their career before their children.. maybe to me it's very straightforward; you can only give your heart and energy to one. no harm having a part time job as side income, but working so hard to build up your career and earn alot of money, but in the end you have an empty family, makes no sense.. then again, if the girl does not pursue a career, then all the education spent on her would be wasted? haha.

oh well im just having many random thoughts. XD

thank God im healing... it's really been some painful months..

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sometimes i dont know why im still in this cca. especially when it came to doing stuff that only jh and me bother doing, or when unncessary politics or troubles come our way, one of us was always tempted to give up.

but it always seems that the other person will pull the person back...

currently we havent managed to find really capable sub com ppl either. maybe it takes some time. however i had spoken to another president and he did say that even in his cca there are few who are really capable to take over him. and his cca is like, very active and has alot of members.

but for this training, again jh and i are doing most of the work. i wonder when we will ever manage to find people willing to take up these kind of responsibilities and do them well. so many people have just been all talk no action.

honestly i had zero motivation to do this project cos im tired of doing ppts and reports.

but seeing the way jh handled it... his typical way of doing work; do it well or dont do it at all; was a motivation..

so i pushed myself to finish my part.. haha. even thou he said that he could do my part if i didnt want to do it, haha. dont want to dump everything to him ma.

we're each other's motivation... like how jh is always lazy to send email and sms ppl abt stuff... so im his personal secretary, haha. =D

well i dont know why i wrote this post lol. maybe just as an insight as to what we're gg thru in cca.. which is getting better but still need more people who are willing to take hold of the reigns.

wish that i had jh in all of my school projects, haha. would make things so much easier. XD

ok i know this is one of my mushiest posts... haha.

finally finished my part le... i think i have a phobia of reports and presentations already... rawrrrrr!!!!

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pixies

this week was so happening. haha.

 

mum had a citibank voucher whereby if two people come for a buffet, the second person gets it free. so aka, buffet was $46 per pax, but we paid $23 per pax. very worth it.

seafood section. salmon. :) got real abalone too. at salmon’s left side.

 

dessert section, durian puree. :)

 

some castle at the lobby.

the orchard cafe.

 

entrance.

 

my fruits in school. lolx. like traffic light.

 

 

bernice’s birthday on wednesday. was aaron’s birthday too, haha. so qiao.

 

my drink on her birthday. someone special took us out for movie, lunch and popcorn. shall not say much. XD no its not jh. haha.

  my sis came back from china yesterday. look at the keychains she bought. haha. she gave me the read bean one which she didnt like LOL.

all my pocky she bought for me. XD hehehe. jh is jealous so he’s trying to convince me that there’s melamine in them to make himself feel better. HAHA.

her oylmpics stuff.

plate she designed in china. after painting it, the plate is baked so the paint wont run during washing.

out with jh ytd. saw this at esplanade.. super weird and funny haha.

i was sad cos i couldnt eat my subway for dinner. cos of you-know-what, so shared movenpick to cheer me up. haha.  as good as ever. :) my dinner was seaweed, lol.

 

yunli’s keychain. so cute. haha.

 

getting busier and busier by the day. =/

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: orchard hotel,movenpick

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1 week of no carbohydrates!! ok i had some chicken rice for dinner, couldnt help it. XD

cca is getting the move on! need to teach secondary schs professional blogging next wk.

this sem not so many projects.. happy.. most modules are theory. its like in secondary school where i study 10 mins for literature for almost every exam, but spend hours and hours doing math papers. so i love theory modules in a way, haha.

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rachel is feeling emo and has no mood for studies. dont have any mood for anything else except to cure myself now. now i have to keep myself on a no-carbohydrate diet otherwise when i poop is super pain.

my meals today consisted of fruits and semi-cooked fish. i cant even eat proper food. however, controlling my diet is not as bad as the pain i hv every night. just makes you moodless and dont even want to do anything like wake up early for school cos i need to heal my ass.

my posts are getting a bit more personal and i dont exactly know who's reading them. if you dont like to read posts like these, you have the option not to read them. i blog mainly to let my close friends know what im gg thru in my life, the ups and downs. i dont want to put up a false front and pretend that im not affected by it, especially in school. hence the reason why i have been rather moody and not want to do much in school lately. i dont know when i will completely heal of it, im trying very hard everyday and hoping for the best.

now i cant eat carbohydrates and meat except semi-cooked fish. so in school it's either the fish noodle soup without the noodle, or fruits for me.

but anyways, im very thankful that ive found a group for my business development module next year already. ramy gave me his friend's contact and turns out that they needed one marketing student and their group is formed. some bg info, for bd, we need to have 1 marketing student, 2 human resource and 2 banking option students to form a group. when i heard it i thought: it's like asking us to find a boyfriend with blue ears and pink nose and green ears in the exact combination. and oh, they group classes into A and B. so must choose students from your same section. add purple hair to my analogy. lol. and if you cant find a group by the deadline, please prepare to go for a 'match-making' session to find your mates. LOL.

alright rachel has to carry her painful bum to her room and clean it so that tmr people will have a nice room to see when they view the house for sale. i have a queen sized bed passed down from my mum, and what do i do with half a bed of extra space? heh heh. it has become my temporary clothes hanger hahaha. so my sleeping partner every night is.. my clothes.. XD

off i go. goodnight people. :) wish me and my painful bum all the best.. XD

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subway and stuff

yay loads of pixies. uploaded within 3 mins using windows live writer. there’s subway later on, so stay tuned. XD

nina’s elmo! + my bag, my financial calculator and her ibanking thingy.

elmo’s butt. XD

casket service in SP? must be for students who died of brain damage.. :P

bernice is tired. haha.

guai guai writing notes?

not during pscm. XD

this was in the bizit library. XD inconsiderate person using the straits times to cover his face!! i wanted to read it. –.-“

friday dinner at ps. i carried it halfway then asked a caucasian whether i could put it down at her table for a while. she was very gracious about it. :)

it was very heavy, the bottom of the soup had flames coming out from the fire and threatened to burn my hand, and the bowl of rice looked like it was going to drop from the edge of the tray. worse, the chicken sauce was bubbling and boiling so some of it splattered on my arm. couldnt take it and got jh to help me carry it back. haha. :) of course i had taken the rice back first and the flames had gone by then. next time will request for no fire under the soup lol.

subway dinner yesterday. that’s my 6” cold cut trio, two cookies and a refillable drink. forgot to take pic of the drink. but anyhow. $4.50 for all of it, cos we printed out the free upsize voucher from the subway website. so the cookies and drink was on the house. :) jh’s sub was $5.90, but even $5.90 is also worth it. haha. the voucher stated we need to present our sub club card, but they didnt request for it. lol. just bring in case ba.

im in love with subway.. my goodness. the bread is so soft and delicious. and the sauce is so yummy.

then guess what we saw at carrefore.. MOVENPICK ICE CREAM. we hv been looking for it EVERYWHERE but couldnt find it. then suddenly when we’re super full and cannot eat a single thing more, a tray of movenpick ice cream presents itself. lol. we were trying to find frozen youghurt, but couldnt find it anywhere. i think they stopped bringing it in le. cry cry.

Technorati Tags: subway,elmo

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hammy love :)

want to share this beautiful love story about two hamsters with you guys. it's really adorable and sweet. go here and view the latest post.

it's about a wifey hamster who broke her leg during a fall and had to amputate it. many times, the spouse will reject the wife/husband after having the imperfection. but the hubby hamham still loves the wifey hamham as much as ever. :)

here's two pics of them.. :)




































they're so cute right. :) even though they have not been able to have any baby hammies, they are still so loving.

ive kept hamsters for a long time and though they're cute little creatures, often i find that they do not have very strong characteristics like compassion and love. eg if the mummy hamham feels that its newborn babies are threatened, it will EAT its babies up. ive seen it before and i will never dare to keep one male and a female tgt again, for fear of that happening again. its absolutely grotesque and i never want to see it happen another time in my life.

and after the mummy ham gives birth, the daddy ham will come and disturb the babies or the mum or something. end up have to separate the two of them. it is very rare to find such a loving hamham couple, and its nice to hear that there is such a couple in this world. :D

oh ya, scroll down her blog a little more to see pics of her walking her rabbit at a park. XD hahaa.

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today is the blur-ness disease day.

1. ate at din tai feng with mum and dad. dad asked me to go swensens buy back chicken baked rice for my bro. i blindly walk into the restaurant beside din tai feng cos i always thought swensens is beside dtf. only after bringing the plastic bag back to my dad at dtf he ask me "how come you buy pizza hut one?" totally ROFL-ed. swensens and pizza hut the decor and waiter dressing is so similar lo.

2. jh wanted to send email to club officer. end up he sent to himself. hahahhaaha

3. jh sent a second time. cc to committee. one com member's email is sleeping-something. jh sent to his classmate with the email as sleeping-another-thing.

4. rs sent dism an email about family day. end up he send to me also. im in dba. haha.

the guys ra3 too much le haha.

as for me, super lack of sleep. ber complaining about it also. hahaha. tmr is our final 8am day. saturday faster come!

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happening day

today very happening sia.

morning: dad drives me to school every morning before driving off to work. today mum told him that he cannot go out until he takes out the trash. so i was late and dad took cte, which involves paying $5 for erp. in the end, still 8 mins late for lesson and lecturer made me and ber sit in the first 3 rows. (ber was early actually but went to toilet so she came in late. met her at lecture hall entrance) tsktsk.

but actually, 1/3 of the students in the lecture hall were late, cos the first 3 rows were all occupied by the end of the lesson. LOL.

had 5 hour break. interviewed 2 ppl for sub com.

at 3pm: itp talk. they say it will finish at 4, then in the end at 4 we had to go to another LT for an extention of itp talk. LOL. could hear alot of grumbles. i was also irritated cos i had made the poor boy wait for 2 hours already.

4-4.30 was some talk on when you can take leave from work. speaker was a honkie. means hongkong-er. he's very interesting and funny haha. at the end of his talk everyone clapped for him.

met jh. corrected his english for his assignment. XD haha.

went to fc2 to eat dinner. bought 3 shirts cos im seriously lacking in shirts. total $10. forgot to check the condition of them and when i reached home i realised one of them has black spots on it. need to change tmr. ma fan.

i ate century egg porridge. usually it only has one egg, which is $1.30. i asked auntie to add another century egg, then she said need to add 80c. (century egg is expensive, i didnt know. lol) then cos it's quite late le, and it's the last piece left, so she said she'll just give it to me for extra 20c. haha. otherwise if no one eat it, by the time she close she'll hv to throw it away or something. lol.

i regret eating century egg. i asked jh how come century egg so expensive. jh said: 'cos they need to get the horse urine, soak the egg in urine, transport to people'. i thought he was talking rubbish, so i didnt care about what he said about horse urine and finished off my eggs. was wondering how come he can be so imaginative and random to say that century egg is soaked in horse urine. (cos he wont go to such lengths to make me nauseous and not eat my food)

on the way home, he said that they used century eggs in fear factor and dare the people to eat it. and that from young he was told by his teacher that century eggs are soaked in horse urine. so i really believed it and felt so nauseous that i promise to never eat century eggs again. LOL.

went home to wiki century eggs. it says:

'According to a persistent myth, century eggs are or once were prepared by soaking eggs in horse urine. The myth may arise from the fact that significant quantities of ammonia are produced through the bacterial action on urea which changes the pH of urine from acidic to basic. '

and:

'Century egg, is a Chinese cuisine ingredient made by preserving duck, chicken or quail eggs in mixture of clay, ash, salt, lime, and rice straw for several weeks to several months, depending on the method of processing.'

then jh said:

'china, melamine incident. not surpizing if they use urine. and wiki not reliable source.'

0.o

i think i shall grow my own crops and eat that.

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i feel like im on a diet. feels so sad not to be able to eat what i want.

no chilli. that's like a death sentence to me. haha.

ok but i shall keep reminding myself that im veeeery veeery grateful i dont have piles already. :)

bernice is kuku today. she said she needed to go to junction 8 to fix her watch. then when we were at raffles place, i was going out already and bernice was just standing there. then she was like: junction 8 is in bugis right?' something like that. she mixed up junction 8 is in bishan and bugis juction is in bugis. hahaha. those two places start with 'b' and have 'junction' in them haha.

then at j8, i got a leaflet which entitiles me to free flip flops. then i asked her, 'bernice u want to take ma?' then she said 'do i look like i want to go back and take a leaflet just to get a free flipflop?' *sarcastic tone*then she continued: 'Yeah, i think i want to'. totally ROFL. XD

our financial management tutor is rather nice. he's very patient. although our class is always super noisy. haha. he is such a cute old man. XD

someone keeps red alert-ing. im so bored. =/

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just went to the doctor. thank God i do not have hemorrhoids and it's just a fissure. im so, so relieved. next time when i feel something going wrong im not going to wait and guess. go to doctor straight and check it out first.

just some history, hemorrhoids runs in my family and my parents and i had been suspecting for about 3 months that i have it, cos all the symptoms are there. turns out it's only a break in the skin which is relatively common.

strict diet of lots of water, fruits, vegetables for two weeks. no chili, no meat, less food. it beats having to go for operation. my mum was about to call the insurance agent to buy hospital insurance already cos i was bleeding like menstruation lol.

suddenly im happy to be alive. haha.

be happy and healthy people. :) eat lots of veges and fruits! XD

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ytd went jh house and watched 21. It's a movie about a secret blackjack club in MIT whereby a group of students and a tutor who go to las vegas to cheat the blackjack system by counting cards and earning alot of money. The movie was very good. Plot and everything. Although after we checked wikipedia, we realised that almost the whole story is fabricated, except the core concept of a secret blackjack club in MIT. haha.

i love his cats. XD















sleeping in a kitchen cupboard.




















fat cat.
















mam mam time! two big fat black cats. haha.

when we were walking to je mrt, there was a pasar malam. and the smell of durians was just irresistable. but jh keep saying that pasar malam durians are not nice; all hard like rock. lol.

then what happened later?? his mum bought back those durians and said to jh that if i had left later i could have eaten them. -.-" *cry cry cry* jh says the durians not bad somemore. next time i wont listen to him say they're not nice and just buy them le. hahaha.


my dad bought this for my mum who went to hospital yesterday.. waiting for the scan results to determine if it's a relapse from her past cervical cancer, and whether she needs operation for it.

















so sweet. after 20 plus years of marriage. :)

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