im really in no mood to study. if not for that one thing in my life which keeps me going, i wouldnt have bothered to study for any subject at all. and score miserably, and still not be able to buck up after getting back horrible results. because.. im just too tired of studying.
i pushed myself ever since p5, never stopping until from sec4 onwards, somehow, i just slackened. other people were able to keep on going; i couldnt. that is not to say i didnt study; i did. just not enough.
and now, so many things seem pointless. again, i feel like a machine which poly wants to stuff infomation into. like, practicing pacc, itab, whatever. doing it again and again. it can get really sian. but, at least it's so much better than being in a lecture hall and have facts thrown at you. i seriously dont pay attention in lectures at all. because i will feel like im mass-produced.
i dont intend to study for mob. just maybe read thru. cause im not feeling like it's worth it. if i wanna memorise the facts, i will throw it all out of the window after the exam. pointless. so i shall just read and see what goes in. haha.
ever since reaching home at like 4, i hv not done anything until now. it's 11pm. woohoo. lol... i was dead tired from having only 5 hours of sleep for the past few days. im a serious insomniac. i sleep from 10 to 1am, then cant slp until 6am till it's time to wake up to go sch and take exam. which is usually 8am liddat. so many days i felt like fainting on the mrt again, because of the lack of sleep. not that i was studying. i just plainly couldnt sleep.
i know it's hard to say 'dont fret about this MST', but it's only about 10%. and we're always given second chances. semester exam is about 40%, so that's worse. we still hv time if we did not do well this time. and ive realised that, sometimes, scoring well too early in your life, is not really good. you will get burnt out by the time years pass by. i see many uni pple who lose that gung-ho attitude towards studying; probably because they're too tired of mugging. for Os, then As. no one can chiong all the time. scoring well in psle doesnt mean that you will score well in Os etc.
i want normal school days back.
