sitex is finally over.. we've been though alot together.. the tiredness, everything.. it's not something i want to do my whole life.. i will probably not do the other shows unless i really need the money.. and actually i dont really need it. there are so many loopholes i could fall into as quite a newbie.. many things i do not have complete knowledge about, and end up giving wrong advice.. from now on i think i'll stick to tuitioning.. if that is even confirmed.. i dont know.. the future is unknown.. but it's very tiring. only if i have super no choice then i'll work bah.. otherwise, im not sure if the emotional physical and mental drainage is worth it every time.
many times i cant trust myself.. sigh. reflections about sitex: it's more than i could ever ask for. friendly people. im also very thankful for a big bro to look after me; and dont intend to take it for granted. without his help, i would never learn so much. and would not have been able to pull through sitex.
in sitex, i feel like a fish out of water. in a sense that im not all totally competent at everything. there are so many people much better than me. i could never reach 1k of sales. thou this time my salary is probably twice of my previous, the mental and emotional energy; im not sure if it's worth it. throughout, i was still feeling a little alone, cause i cant expect him to help me all the time right. most of the time you're left by yourself. to see what you can do by yourself. i guess i am grateful for his help and everything; but my inability to carve out a niche in this area is making me have second thoughts of doing IT show regulary.
i know the pay is good and everything; $500 for 4 days is like, quite alot.. but i think i will feel very zi bei if i do it so many times but my pay doesnt not match up nearly to those who have probably done the same number of times as me.. there's this whole comparison thing in IT show.. sigh. i guess now i know why there are always so many new faces. cause people do until sian. haha.
also, i cannot trust myself. this weakness of mine. guess we all have an achilles heel.
experiences.. so valuable. friendships.. i dont want them to fade.. but it's a fact of life.. why.. i really want to cry when i think of fading friendships/relationships.. how can people throw away something they have built.. maybe it was never that strong in the first place; but still. maybe as a girl, i value relationships alot.. like many females do. i find it very hard to let go. and often, to me, once a friend, always a friend. especially if the person has helped me alot; given me alot of guidance etc, i will be very grateful and hope that maybe one day I will be able to reply the person in whatever small way I can
I guess that’s what life is. Some people are meant to be lifelong friends. Some friends. Some aquaintences. I hate accepting that fact.
Also, you wouldn’t be able to imagine the amount of politics that goes on in there. With people and different characters, come personality clashes. I don’t think I want to go through that again. I am trying to be friends with everyone and not offend anyone. But ive realized after a while, that pure neutrality is almost impossible. wars in history are a testament to that. Few countries can remain neutral without either the opposing/ defending party getting offended.
After yesterday, I was so emotionally tired that I promised myself never to work again. But it’s like that Chinese proverb; cough and give up eating? Cannot just because of one factor of IT show that I dislike, then I give up all the opportunities right.. I guess the main thing is that I do not want to work on the first and second day, because people come only to rack-ee. Not interested in buying. It’s very tiring for me to talk to them for so long and discover that they will not come and buy on the first day. And of course; who on earth would buy on the first day.. very very few. Think I will try to ask if I can don’t work on thurs and/or Friday the next time le. Hopefully I have discovered the thing which made me so exasperated about IT show and be able to make things smoother..
I totally didn’t want to wake up today morning.. wish I could have just slept into the afternoon. But because of crs presentation I couldn’t. but I could feel the difference in my presentation because of the repeated presentation of laptops to customers.. it’s easier to give presentations now.. presenting has never been a dread for me, but it gets easier with practice. I think I explained the laptop specifications so many times that I can even recite it in my dreams. LOL.
Anw crs presentation today was… hm.. weird. The first team that went; talked about capital punishment and whether it’s right or wrong.. that caused quite a ruckus.. people were debating fiercely about it. Felt that it went quite out of hand.. thou I don’t know how the teacher feels. She seems to be enjoying the chaos. Haha. Our team was quiet because I guess we felt that there were too many people talking already. It seemed really pointless to add anything in. like Bernice says ‘it’s as if if we debate about it, we can change the law.’ Totally agreed.. haha.
Our discussion was less fierce bah.. maybe everyone was tiring of debating? Haha. Honestly I think crs is a really redundant module. As if doing so many argumentative essays in sec sch was not enough. And oral exam, for that matter.
Was totally spacing out during lessons today. Haha.
