it's all coming back.. question again why i lost it.. i hate this..
accepted the weekend job offer and lost the tuition one... i wonder if im making the right decision.. omg... the pay for tuition is much better than part time.. why the crap did i make that decision.. i dont know what is best.. really.... sigh... actually, i dont find any fulfillment in tuitioning. and there are probably more chances for development in my company than in tuitioning..
i should be freaking happy that i have a big bro to look out for me, teach me, to teng2 me sometimes.. why am i not then. maybe i am happy, but at the same time afraid that i'll lose him as a friend also. dont know why i have this fear of losing people in my life. it makes me cry whenever i think of it.
first person he called for the job was me.. haha.. i should count my blessings.. but somehow i just feel like all these can go away in the blink of an eye. suddenly something can happen to make all my current happiness go away.
but as compared to monday, im less sad le. cause at least i will be able to keep in touch with him not only during IT shows. told u guys le. i hate one-time off friendships. he'd better not make me angry... ive seen how such friendships fade so easily. i hope i dont regret choosing this job over tuitioning either... i hope i adapt well to this new environment.. which is predominantly male... omg... literally the only person i know well is him. but i'll be alone on friday cause he still got police.. rar... and the others are my real supervisors so i dont think i'll be able to talk to anyone much. *yelp*
