it's friday. yay. haha.

school's been normal. sorta. the usual. back to the chase of completing tutorials almost as soon as lectures are over.

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now at mug@moberly... but no im not mugging lah. haha. waiting for 5.30 to come so that i can go for the 'job' briefing for buyback..

second day of the semester. had itab in the morning for 3 hours, doing access. think it's the teacher's voice or something. somehow im more awake and feel less 'dron-ish' when she teaches. haha.

then had econs lecture... 5 mins into the lecture and my head was drooping down le.. i should record and play her voice each time i have insomnia. hahaha.

then was foundations of marketing lecture... our lecturer is by far, the most entertaining and interesting lecturer ive ever had. haha. and our tutor said that he won the 'best teacher' title in sp... george teo rocks sia.. haha. but; he is very serious when it comes to students talking while he's talking. but who needs to talk when he is talking! he's super funny and interesting lahz.

then had fom tutorial... hm.. ok... the usual kind of tutor. haha.

falling into emo-ness the past few days.. and something happened that made me even more emo.. hahaah... but i shant be emo... shall give it all to God... and i do feel better when he takes it away when i ask him to. but; mistakes are mistakes. God would rather allow me to make this mistake and learn now, rather than to make a worse mistake next time on. i wish i was more clear-headed, more sensible, more everything. i wish i was perfect sometimes, so that i would not have to be this way. when a child keeps disobeying, the parent has no choice but to let him feel some pain and regret over that wrong act, so that he will not do it again. why are humans so foolish sometimes? to refuse to learn from our mistakes, slip away sometimes, and fall into that mistake deeper and deeper. and not even realise it.

rarrrr. i hate being emo. something happened at the cca fair yesterday when i was tending the booth with aaron.. then i got emo and cried a little... then aaron was like 'eh, the one thing im most afraid of is girls crying; so dont cry!' hahahahaha. hilarious lah. then he counselled me for 1 hour. wahaha. even thou he says he doesnt know how to talk much. hahaha. (btw aaron is a good friend in spic lah; dont think so much about the guys in my life can. haha) but really; im not an emo person by nature; nor do i want to be. i feel better each time i give this problem to God. yes the pain still comes back; but it's God's way to teach me to learn to lean on him.. and not let anyone else except God be my comforter. because; there is no one who will be able to meet your needs 100%.

i feel much better now. =) i really thank the people who have been there for me for so long... bernice, lijie, jul, dan, sam, spic people... haha... some of them played a small part; but the main thing is; they were there when i needed them.. and i know i can count on them.. really thank God for friends like them.. :) i wish i could do more... wish i could be more regular in nav n stuff... but i dont really know what the best for myself is.

brrr it's so cold at mug@moberly.. hahaha. thou this is called mug@moberly, but two guys are gaming with alot of gaming sounds in front of me, a girl is reading harry potter on a massage chair. yes. massage chair. haha. but u hv to insert a certain amount of money in to use it lah. X) hahaa.

was thinking about another thing as well. uni admission. as i said before; i doubt i would be able to enter uni le. and it doesnt help that my dad is confident that i would at least be able to enter SMU. only conclusion: since i cant go uni, marry a graduate!! hahaa. but im shelving any ideas of a relationship for a few years.

hm... was wondering if i seem quiet in the class... do i? hahaha. just a random thought. hahaha. XD

oh.. tmr is the start of gems.. it's general elective module for those who dont know. i took securing your pc.. just looked thru the powerpoint slides; and it's not something im that familiar with. alot of people say it's a free A, but im not too sure le. well, we'll see how it goes.

i feel weird leh.. now we're having very little content in lectures and tutorials. it feels a little too slack. while the jc people must be mugging very hard. jia you everyone.. it'll be my turn soon. all the projects and CAs will pour in in week 3... ack...

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helped out in cca drive from 3-4pm.. then went back to crescent to collect my speech day award thingy... cant believe they actually gave a plaque/trophy with the cert... haha.. after so long le; finally went back to collect it. forgot about it for quite some time until i had to write my resume and think of things to put in there. haha.

first day of the semester... started off with stats. sheesh. went into lecture proper already. that had me half sian-ed. then was critical reasoning skills.. ohmygosh... felt like O lvl english all over again. think i will be sian-ing thru this module... -.- then was econs tutorial.. .bacsically we just got back our marks. i really didnt do up to my standard. think im gonna get C for accounts and econs; the two heavy-weight subjects. kaoz.

as i held that cert and plaque, i couldnt help feeling 'what's the use?' so what if i get that at O levels. so what if you do superbly well in psle. that doesnt mean you will be successful in life. all these marks in our tests now; yeah they matter now. but im wondering whether they will matter in the future. maybe bernice is right; our grades now are a ticket to a better future. maybe. just maybe.

but. one thing's for sure. the stakes get higher as you proceed higher up your education. im dried and sick of marks. and at this rate im going, it's gonna be impossible to get into uni. which goes against the plans i had for my future. i really dont know. to do well; you're supposed to be good at everything. but how come the modules im good at; the credit units are so few. sigh forget it. just keep studying. and hope for a better future.

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why do i feel like it's gonna be a slack day tomorrow? full of introductory lectures on what we will be doing for semester 2; just like the first 2 weeks of sem1.

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what happens when you think you deserve something because you've earned it; and when you finally think you're gonna get it, then it doesnt come true? think; when you've worked very very very hard for it, and you've put in the most effort you ever could, and you've done everything possible to earn it. then, it falls through. and the guy beside you, who did nothing, was a spendthrift, doesnt even work hard, and he gets it? something like the infairness in sales. but im not directly referring to that. is it fair? what can i do; except wait patiently; knowing that God has a reason why he did that.

this only makes me want to be even more independent. so that i will not have to rely on anyone.

the first time since the year started. i actually went out with my family. but i realised that, i was right in being reclusive. we never, ever had a time when somebody didnt rub off the wrong side of somebody. the price of different generations together at one time.

in the first place, seclusion worked. we each have our own cells we return to once we reach home. but slowly, i managed to open up to my parents. pushed aside whatever grievances i had against them. and they soon became my counsellor on many matters, from cca to academic.

but i guess. i was never meant to share my personal life with them. nor are they able or desire to have a place of advisorship in it. i tried. dont anyone tell me that i did not try hard enough.

the complexities in life never fail to amaze me.

how come im hearing of more and more husbands betraying their wives, by having another woman outside. why cant a man be satisfied by his wife. why do they have the heart to betray them. why are they so much more disloyal than women. and why do we believe them when they speak romantic words. which express their feelings for as long as they feel like 'playing' with that girl. or which last as long as they 'think' they are in 'love'.

what has the definition of love changed to. last time, marriage lasted a lifetime. most marriages would be fortunate to last past 20 years now.

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hey peeps. take a look at this article.

Snooze factor: Educators hear ticking of sleepy teens' body clocks

By CHRISTOPHER CASKEY
The Sacramento Bee
Sept. 12, 2005 07:35 PM
SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Jennifer Stayner rolls out of bed every weekday morning at 6, downing a bowl of cereal and rushing to make the bus by 6:50 a.m. for a half-hour commute, all to be at Pleasant Grove High with time to spare before her 8 a.m. class.

Like many teens, Jennifer might not get to sleep before 11 p.m. And like most of her peers, she isn't getting the sleep that experts say she needs.

"I go to sleep kind of late," she said, "because then I'll actually be ready to sleep."

Teens and parents know the drill: Once children reach adolescence, it can become more difficult to get them to bed early and sometimes even more difficult to drag them out of bed in time for school.

Is it laziness? Pushing the limits?

Research indicates that it's actually biological, something teens can't control: With the onset of puberty, teenagers go to bed later and need to sleep later than children and adults.

Sleep research has led high schools in Minnesota to start classes later, and if a Bay Area mother has her way, Palo Alto schools will consider a similar move. Nearby, the Lodi Unified School District thought hard about it, too, but decided that changing start times would cost millions of dollars.

All point to research that's found teens are chronically tired -- putting them at risk for depression, poor school performance and even car accidents. One sleep expert urges schools to start no earlier than 8 a.m., and ideally, as close to 9 a.m. as possible.

"The average American adolescent is sleep-deprived," said psychologist David Walsh, who explores the effects of teens' sleeplessness in his book "WHY Do They Act That Way?: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen" (Free Press, $23, 288 pages.)

"Many kids are literally dragging themselves to school half-asleep. They are very sleepy during first, second, maybe even into the third period of the day."

Sleepiness is closely tied to the brain's release of a hormone called melatonin. Numerous sleep studies have found that during puberty, the brain naturally begins to release melatonin later than it does during childhood or adulthood.

The "central circadian pacemaker" is science's term for your body's biological clock. It is responsible for setting your daily rhythms, which include when you go to sleep and wake up. For normal adults, melatonin begins to be released around 9 p.m.

Through a number of studies in the 1990s, sleep expert Mary Carskadon found that when young people reach puberty, they experience a "phase delay" in their circadian timing. It is as if their inner clocks have been set back; their brain can release melatonin as late as 11 p.m.

But late to bed also means late to rise, and the teenage brain will continue to release melatonin until 8 a.m. or later. With schools starting sometimes as early as 7:20 a.m., teens are often waking up when their bodies are supposed to be sleeping, Walsh said.

Even though experts say that teenagers still need 8.5 to 9.5 hours of sleep, the average teen in the United States gets little more than seven hours, according to the National Sleep Foundation.

Mandy Carrillo gets even less sleep than average. The 17-year-old senior at Sacramento New Technology High School wakes up at 6:30 a.m. to be on time for her 7:45 class. Between activities such as student government and serving as a student board member for the Sacramento City Unified School District, along with homework and family time, Carillo is usually in bed by midnight.

She says she is alert during her morning classes but often will "just crash" if she has any down time in the afternoon.

"My internal clock is totally fouled up," Carillo said. "My sleep schedule is so out there that I don't even know if it's daytime or nighttime."

Sleep deprivation can cause difficulty concentrating, depression, irritability, and learning and memory difficulties, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Because of the physical and emotional changes during adolescence, its effects can be magnified with teenagers and lead to poor school performance, negative moods, impaired social interaction and an increased likelihood of using alcohol and other substances.

"It's a more vulnerable period of time because of the intensity of the cognitive and emotional changes that occur in adolescents," said Amy Wolfson, sleep researcher and associate psychology professor at College of the Holy Cross in Massachusetts. "If you have adolescents that are sleep-deprived, it may affect the way they feel about themselves."

And the effects of sleeplessness in adolescents can go beyond feelings and grades, becoming life-threatening when teens get behind the wheel. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, people ages 16 to 29 are more likely to be involved in fall-asleep crashes than older drivers.

Many in the sleep-research community find early school start times, when paired with the natural sleep delay, to be a major factor in this chronic teenage sleep deprivation. In a 1999 study called "Sleep Schedules and Daytime Functioning in Adolescents," Wolfson made a direct link between school start times and sleeplessness in teens.

"Teenagers who start school at 7:30 a.m. or earlier obtain less total sleep due to their early rise time," the study said.

Wolfson encourages schools to start between 8 and 9 a.m., although she said that any shift toward later start times is a good step.

Similar sleep studies, many of which were conducted in the early 1990s, have been making the same connection between school start times and teenage sleepiness. And because of this, school districts across the nation have looked at the possibility of starting their high schools and middle schools up to an hour later. A handful of districts have even done it.

The Minneapolis Public School District changed its high school start times from 7:15 to 8:30 a.m. in 1997.

"We've seen an improvement," said Associate Superintendent Craig Vana, who was principal at Edison High School in Minneapolis at the time of the change. "We don't have kids coming to school so early that they can't function."

And statistics support Vana's observations. The Center for Applied Research and Educational Improvement (CAREI) at the University of Minnesota conducted a study of the effects of the new start times in Minneapolis. The study found that the extra hour of sleep resulted in higher attendance rates, fewer students dropping out and a significant decrease in the amount of reported depression.

"We had counselors and school nurses seeking us out to say that they had less students self-referring themselves for counseling and peer relationship problems," said Kyla L. Wahlstrom of CAREI, who worked on the study. "(Students) felt like they were awake and part of life instead of sleeplessly wandering through the day."

But a complete shift in high school and middle school start times is a major undertaking for a district, and some local schools have opted to continue with current start times after evaluating the cost.

Money aside, parents and students commonly are in favor of later start times, although some worry about extracurricular activities, including sports and after-school jobs.

Even though Linda Kirkland's teenage daughters are involved in sports at Kennedy High School in Sacramento, she would not mind seeing the school start a little later than its current 8:15 a.m. When Kirkland was in high school, her school hours went from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., which worked well for her.

"During the year, even if they start practice at 4 p.m., they'll be done before dark," Kirkland said. "And I think they're better off practicing later, with the weather here."

Craig Vana noted that similar objections were voiced by coaches and parents when the changes were brought up in the Minneapolis schools, but the attitudes changed when they saw the positive effects.

"You've got to start saying to yourself, 'What's the right thing to do for kids and learning?' " Vana said. "Not what's right for adults or what's right for the business community or what's right for sports."

Melinda McGee of Palo Alto agrees, and is looking to push back start times at Palo Alto High, where her son Spencer Davis is a freshman. Spencer had always been an early riser, but now prefers a sleeping later.

McGee is working to inform other parents, administrators and board members of the benefits to starting school later.

"They're asking (high school students) to get to school earlier than middle school and elementary school students, when science is saying these kids need nine and a half hours of sleep," McGee said. "As parents, we need to do what's best for our kids."

FACTS FOR THE DROWSY



-- Teenagers need more sleep than most adults, up to 9 1/2 hours per night.

-- 26 percent of surveyed students report sleeping 6 1/2 hours or less each school night.

-- 91 percent of high school students report going to sleep after 11 p.m. when they do not have to wake up for school the next day.

-- 40 percent of high school students report going to bed after 11 p.m. on school nights.

-- 92 percent of parents surveyed by the Minneapolis public school system said their children were easier to live with once school started later.

-- Drivers ages 25 and under cause more than half of fall-asleep crashes.

-- Young drivers are four times as likely to have a sleepiness-related crash than are drivers over 30.

Sources: National Sleep Foundation, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Center for Applied Research and Educational Improvement


so dont beat yourselves up just because you sleep in lecture, or that you cant get out of bed by 6 am. unfortunately, few people know that melatonin secretion in a teenager's body is pushed forward by a few hours. hence we tend to sleep later and wake up later. dont you realise that when you ask any teenager what their hobby is; most often the answer given is 'sleep?' that's cause our school timing system is not planned well according to the sleeping patterns of teenagers. and look. scientists are saying that teenagers should get nine and a half hours of sleep. so dont feel bad if you tell people that you're sleeping 10 hours a day. and dont listen to them if they call you a pig. you've got the backing of scientists and researchers. =)

the hard part is, getting singapore schools to reform the school timings. haha. i think i may buy some melatonin tablets or something from the pharmacy to see what i can do about this problem. cause there's no way im gonna be able to sleep by 10pm and wake up by 6am everyday. no siree.

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i wonder, what is love?

is it those fluttery feelings?
is it that rush of adrenaline?
is it found in the spoken words 'i love you?'

if we can fall in love, then we can fall out of love just as easily.

there's no such thing as a happy ending. or a perfect one.

dont get impatient if you havent found your one and only.

i dont know. all i know is, marriage is not the end. it's the begining. and i hope the divorce rates will stop climbing. it's reflecting something about our progressing society.

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keke... probably later going to eat black pepper crabs... hehee... XD

rarx. i want school to start. i wan i wan i wan... i miss crapping with bernice and kim... i miss my social life.. but; i dont miss waking up 2 hours b4 lessons!! ='( maybe i should transfer to nyp. HA.

maybe i am committing myself to too many projects. darn.

OOOH! about gems. keke. finally i found someone whose taking securing your pc with me!!! bear from spic!!! hahahhaa. actually his name is not bear lah. but sounds like it. HAHA. XD i hope fom will end about 10 mins earlier than the proposed time; cause otherwise i'll constantly be late for my gem. and sypc only has one slot, so yeah, i think they will start later de.. to accomodate pple from all the schools. =))

goodness. recently ive been reading. ALOT. like, everyday, wake up, (at 12-1pm) eat, read book, eat, read again, sleep. 0.o but once school starts, i totally wont have this kind of luxury.. *sobs* i love this thing about poly.. is that; every holiday feels like O levels is over. keke. like, you dont have holiday projects or what to kill off your hols. maybe only in yr 2 then will start the holiday projects bah. but right now, im enjoying this freedom. =D

im in serious trouble... ive been sleeping at 3am and waking at 12pm everyday. this is badddd... im supposed to be sleeping at latest 11pm every night; like in secondary school. gah. i rmb in sec sch, even thou i slept at 11 every night, i still constantly suffered from lack of sleep. 0.o school starts too early. that's for sure.

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tomorrow would mark the 17th year ive been alive... haha. what a way to put it. but i cant believe that 17 years has passed by just like that... even when i think im old, im actually not that old, young, but not that young. hahaa. i only realised that it was nearing 21st sept yesterday. hahaha.

but; if you were to ask me what i want for my birthday; i really would not know how to answer... because; im really very contented with what i have. and for what i dont have and want, im leaving it in God's hands, to provide in His own time. i guess i never had any strong urges for things i want; because wants will never be satisfied. okay im sounding like some philosophical person. hahaha.

but; im glad... glad for the things i have, the friends i have. for this birthday, im not expecting or wanting presents, really; even just a simple 'happy birthday' from my famliy or friends would mean the world to me. it's the thought that counts. =)

just finished reading the book "Longaberger- an american success story". it's about this guy who had a stuttering problem and finished high school at the age of 21. now he has a billion-dollar company. oh, and the coolest thing about that company is their office. haha.

longaberger office

it's so cute. it's a BASKET!! hahaha.

the best thing about this company is that it's so philanthrophic. if i had any reason for financial success, it would be to do the same as him; allevate poverty and improve the quality of lives of those who need it.

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guess what... i got securing your pc for gems. i hope i can survive that.

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today went for spic meeting for the cssc thing from 1.30. then we had to decide on the game to be played for the tournament, so we went to the main library to play cca.sg games. wakaka. you guys should try tower defence. it's madness. hahaha. it's a strategy game whereby you have to make sure you kill all those bad guys thing. hahaa.

crapz. someone told me that real estate valuation is hard. manz. why is it that the gems i choose are always hard. and the easy ones are hard to get. sighz.

oh. i couldnt imagine that jul acutally forgot his gems appointment. it's the most talked about thing in sp!! hahahaa.

each time i take the mrt, i DREAM of the circle line. passed by the construction site today after a 1 hour bus ride home. which could have been 15 mins if the cl was up already. HAHAHA. yea. im still dreaming about my cl. but it wont be ready till next year. ohmygosh. how can i even last that long?!?!!

oh i found out that apparently, people from the same class can have different gems appointments. lucky those who had it on the first day. but hm, i think they do allocate the slots evenly.

singapore is getting to be a scary place to live in. raised gst. increased bus fares. compulsory annuities. what next. there's been alot of hooha about all these recently. and there's alot i can say about them. but i shall save my brain of having to type out structured arguments. ive been thru that phase. LOL.

but really. if i had the money and chance, given further thought, i would actually consider a future overseas. previously i didnt. but seeing what singapore is becoming; one actually starts to realise that singaporeans may actually be second-class citizens in our own country. there's alot of support evidence for it. go figure.

if you're wondering, all these arose from my new-formed habit; reading socio-political blogs. for once, i realised that there's another world behind the deluded portrayal of singapore thru our national paper.

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topic of the day is... CIRCLE LINE!! hahaha. im sure many of you have read the news surrounding it. but actually i didnt dare to read that news cause i didnt want to harbour hopes of it's completion. they say that if all goes well, it should be completed by early 2008. rarx. if i actually can take the circle line to school, it will only be 4 to 5 stops, as compared to the 15 stops im taking now. i should not think about the circle line!!!

i have this hatred for taking the bus. i think it's cause their timings are unpredictable. and if the circle line is up, lorong chuan mrt station is JUST OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. i mean, i can just take a 5 min stroll there. 0.0

but yes i should so stop thinking about the circle line. but i cant help it! haha. right now, i hv to take bus to bishan mrt then from bishan mrt to dover. that takes me about 1.5 hours everyday. ohmygosh. i should hv gone to nyp right. lolx. so; if i dont think about the circle line that much, maybe it'll come faster than i expect. hahahaa.

but all should be completed by the middle of next year... more holidays please... so that i dont need to take bus to the mrt and from mrt to school... XP

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dreams, ideals, goals, aspirations. reflections of the human spirit. it's amazing how people persevere. how many times we have to fail, in order to succeed.

but, where's the line between perseverance and repeating your mistakes?

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so finally i have settled on my gems... taking real estate valuation with nina. =) hopefully i will be able to take that.

just took a look at the credit units alloted for the next semester. seriously, looking that that, this semester's work hardly creates a dent in the immense number of credit units saved for semester 2. it's crazy. stats 6 cu, pacc and econs 8 cu, fom 6 cu... ohmygosh. this is bad bad bad. this only means more past year papers piling up unlike ever before. im so gonna enjoy my life in the next semester.

hm. im trying to make next sem a paper-less semester. aka telling hidayah not to print any share of notes for me. wakakka. okay that's gonna be impossible. cause im sure for econs i'll need them... but for the rest, i'll try. which means bringing laptop for every lesson.

oh. and i specifically chose my gems to be tutorial based; or at least have some element of tutorial in them. i totally ruled out those which are lecture based. cause i know i cant keep awake in lectures for nuts.

i can feel the stress approaching. 4 heavyweight modules... crikey.

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today had spic meeting from 1pm... discussed the projects that were upcoming, then went to cssc to set up the wireless internet there, then lunch, then went home.. i think i was so sleepy that many times, i was talking nonsense!! like, the PM is coming to visit cssc i say it as "the MP coming to visit cssc.." hahaha. then they kept saying 'Eh, wake up liao or not ah?" which is true lah. i only had like 6 hours of sleep. not enough for me!! hahaha. i need 10 hours at least!! hahaha. oh but anyways, some MPs will be coming together with the PM to cssc on 21 oct.. hahaha. so technically im not wrong. wakaka.

anyways. after the meeting, when we went to cssc, i was the only girl amongst like, 6 guys? hahahaha!!! bet you cant imagine what guys talk about... hahha... basically, comex, processors, graphic cards, laptops, computers... HAHAHA. XD but you know, guys can really be crapsters!! hahaha!! nearly the whole time i was with them, they were crapping. hahaha. XD and the fact that i can talk with them, means im a crapster too?? =DD wakaka.

then while setting up the wireless internet, hv to open up the cpu; then needed to vacuum the dust out of the cpu right, then i was vacuuming out the dust until so shuang, and was abit muddle-headed when stuffing the linksys in. wakakkaa. then someone was like "clean things can, but install things abit cannot de". wahahahaha. i see the green chip thingys like so vulnerable... so i don dare to use force to stuff it in mah.. hahaha... and oh man; fixing up the innards of a cpu is something i havent learnt how to do yet. XD i'd rather buy a ready-made laptop with all the specs i need. and for all the additional features, i'd rather fix up softwares. hahha. cause im not a gamer, so i don really need to buy a state of the art graphics card and install it to play games. haha.

oh then you know, someone asked me where i stay in angmokio, then somehow i didnt hear the amk part, then i replied '"ang mo kio", then he said "i already know it's angmokio, you still sleeping issit?" then i replied "yeah i need to upgrade my processor.. only T5600 like my laptop... need T7000... " cause im pek chek about my laptop specs being so lousy after working for acer. hahah. ^.^ yeah...

so i was REALLY sleepy... my brain was processing at 1 kb out of my 1gb ram capacity... hahaha... XD anyways... oh man... i still hv so many things to settle!!! ghost my system, reinstall spss cause i reformatted my laptop cause i couldnt even access my account. so basically everything inside is gone and i have to reinstall EVERYTHING. hahaa.

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hey peeps. new timetable is up. i always found new timetables interesting. haha. like, life is starting on a fresh new page.

the best day we have is tuesday. itab from 8am to 11, followed by econs lecture for an hour, 1 hour break, fom lecture and tutorial from 1 to 5pm.

woopee. haha.

on the bright side, we have stats tut and pacc tut from 8 to 12. thereafter we're free from the clutches of tutorials and lectures for the week.

i sound like the weather girl. hahaha.

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gah. i actually delayed using a new blogskin for so long, because i wanted to create one myself. design is up; but doing up the template is really not going well with me. haha.

beautiful mistake.. is because; God uses our mistakes to make us grow. everyone knows that we grow smarter through making mistakes; and life is no different.

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ever since i reformatted my laptop, it's been processing like THIS. *snaps fingers* hahaha. very fast sia. got rid of all the lagginess. ^.^

couldnt go for the spse meeting today cause it's held at 8pm... ohmygosh... by the time i'll be back, it would be 11 or 12. n i had already planned to go. sigh. dont know what's gonna happen anymore.

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was reading my younger bro's blog.. and for some reason i was quite amused. amused that... so young already got blog... haha... i remember in my time(sound like i so old liddat) we didnt have blogs yet right? or rather, the blogosphere was not so developed at that time. i only got a blog when i was sec 1... but anyways, p6 i was mugging for psle lah... my sis also. apparently my bro doesnt follow in our footsteps. seeing his results now... then comparing to me and my sis' at that time... seriously... i think he just doesnt bother to study... haha.... well; either this generation is getting IT savvy too fast, or my bro is just a slacker now. lol.

when i read the younger one's blogs; i cant help feeling that ive been thru many more things than them... i feel as if i dont wan them to make the same mistakes i made, to go through the pain i went thru. but no one can really protect them; except themselves. if they are humble enough to learn from those who have gone through more than them; then their lives will be smoother... if they choose to listen and obey. just that; the path of obedience is rarely easy.

however; this applies to me also.. no matter how old i feel; i will always be younger than those older than me. they would have gone thru more things than i have, and know more things than i do.

no one is ever alone. seek guidance when you need it. dont be afraid to ask. i cant remember the number of times i made wrong decisions because i didnt seek guidance from someone more experienced in the field.

we can never stop learning. sometimes i wish that the world would not move that fast. or rather; maybe sometimes i wish that i lived somewhere else, whereby there are not so many people, and everyday seems like a mindless chase for grades, or to be up to date with the latest news and happenings.

if only we knew and accepted the fact that, no matter how old we are, we are still young in our parents' eyes. i could never accept that weird feeling of always being viewed as immature and inexperienced to my parents. they would always seem to shrug of things that i do as silly or 'just a youthful phase'. i guess now i can see it in their eyes. if only we could constantly accept that even thou we think we are quite old, there are many more who are more experienced and wiser than us.

the things the wise say to us; is to protect us from pain. but most of the time, we choose to ignore their advice.

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lolx. i was expecting to see a 2 in my gpa.. the main subject which pulled me down was mob. and my dad was like "that's the easiest subject to score in!!" thanks to my lack of memory.

IT applications in business - 3 credit units- A
idea - 2 credit units- B+
effective communication - 2 credit units -distinction
management and organisational behaviour - 6 credit units -C

gpa = 3

how on earth does someone get a 3.96??? AHH!!! that person is so not a human..... and he still claims he has a short-term memory... T.T

so mob affected my gpa alot cause it's 6 credit units. it's a weightage sorta thing. accounts and econs are a year long module; so i'll only get my final result for those subjects at the end of the year.

which means i have to chiong for both subjects. and the freakiest thing is that for pacc and econs, the final year exam is like, 40% of the total. mygoodness. i so cannot mess up that one like i did for mid session test.

im not sure if i even care about results anymore. not that i dont care that my future will be affected by my results now; but i dont care about judging the certainty of a future by looking at results. there's no such thing as job security anymore. and being able to reproduce infomation from a textbook does not mean that you will be able to apply it in real life.

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when my dad heard that i failed my pacc, guess what he bought me... O level accounts tys. -.-" AHHH!!!! ok, i tried looking thru it... but alot of it is not taught in pacc lessons... O levels rli covers much more than what we are covering now.

sigh. my pacc was alr not that good. plus sick= fail. sigh.

all i know is that; i cannot fail this time round.

did a calculation and... realised that an A is impossible for pacc. cause this retake; even if i get full marks for it; i will only get 50% of the marks.

the bad thing about poly is that... everything is taken into consideration. unlike A or O levels. where only that last paper matters.

i need to get over my mistakes.

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ooo.... yesterday went for infocomm meeting from 12 to 6.30.... keke... i really enjoy being with them.... super funny lah. hahaha. can you believe i only had 4 hours of sleep... ohmygosh...

and anyways; my laptop is really bleeding me. i want to cry.... chances are; i will hv to reformat it. and redo everything all over again. *cries* goodness...

anyways; for the spic meeting.. got alot of things seh. got IT show; yes hopefully we can hv an IT show in sp... keke. small one lah. cause starting out. then cca drive...

actually it seems like im involved in alot of things... lol..

oh; and i hv to resit my pacc paper. im really sad abt tt. it's not that i didnt study. but i was sick on that day. and i didnt take loa. this period im really very upset.... laptop, pacc, bookbuzz. most disappointing is pacc. i studied. i really did. i feel as if im messing up my whole life. i wish i could just mess it up and finish my life up. crumple it up like a piece of paper. if only it was possible. lol.

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the world is getting too complicated. why cant we just live day to day. see those tribes... we think they are having a hard life. but they work for about 2-3 hours a day, and the rest of the day is bonding with family. what has happened to our urban society. driven by our desires to achieve more, climb higher. then in the end; many lead a meaningless life. why. why do they even choose that. so what if you are rich. but you are not living a meaningful or happy life.

if i wanted to be rich for any reason; it's to be financially secure. now with all the compulsory annuities and govt policies, it's near impossible to keep a firm hold on your hard earned money. if you think that working hard will allow you to be financially secure, no way. lol. im not saying this to anyone in particular. just a reiteration to myself as well. what with inflation, and the many other 'surprises' that life can throw our way, we can be prepared to work our entire life, if we dont keep a firm hold on what we earn, or find out how to do so.

if i wanted to be rich; i would want it so that the govt doesnt eat up my hard work. so that the poor would benefit from my work. so that my descendants will be ensured a proper living; like warren buffet's descendants. sometimes i really admire these wealthy people... i admire their generosity. warren buffet doesnt really care about all that wealth. he's still living in his house he bought 40 years ago. compare that against hollywood celebrities. what a difference. what a guy with such a big heart.

the world changes so fast. new surprises everyday. now suddenly we can pay nets using our phone. lol. keeping up with these changes until it feels like a part of life. and actually, change is part of life. so are mistakes.

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finally back from 4 days of comex. it's really tiring. actually, the standing for the whole day part is not as bad as compared to 90% of the customers. they treat comex like a fish market. haggle and haggle for the price. ask to lower, give accessories, lower more, give more. really ridiculous. lol.

competition is very keen there. there are like 10 companies selling acer. so it's perfect competition. everyone has the same price; so the only way for you to sell is to give more or reduce price. very very stupid. i dont really understand this concept; why they want to do this pc show anyways. haha. yea true the sales you get is alot. but by the time you add up your total revenue, as compared to if you sold the laptops without giving so much stuff and reducing the price so much if you sell in schools, you'll end up with the same revenue. alot of econs involved. lol.

which is why; i doubt i'll do IT fair/ PC show from now on. maybe to others it's a good way of earning money. but sometimes the customers keep asking for more. plus you dont even know yourself whether you are closing at a loss or not. if yes; there goes your commission. maybe for me; i dont like these kind of extreme situations. it's really siao. they treat laptops like fish. buy 1 like can get 1 free, free plastic bag; whatever. crazy. the specs are alr so good and they still want more. lol.

after this; i will try my best not to go into a perfect competition market. very super hard to earn much.

i need to get over this period of shock first. lol.

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