today

today was a tiring day... woke up at 12 then had to pack my room for the viewers to see the house. then went with dad to boon lay to go check out a potential house for me. not house actually, just a room for me. it didnt turn out well.. the area had alot of indian workers loitering around just outside the flat. i guess boon lay is like that. but my dad was rather negative about the whole thing.. maybe it's just the difference of our current living conditions and his expectations. and i was hurt by some of his comments.. after all this is just checking houses out.. and i did go through alot of trouble to call up agents to ask about houses.

in the end i felt quite irritated at him.. he is giving all the responsibilility of choosing a room to me, but he keeps commenting about the place. i guess no one is ever perfect.

the turnaround came when i felt very moody about the whole thing and went to imm where jh was there. initially i had planned to just walk around by myself and not to disturb jh cos he was with his friends.. and also partly because i didnt wanna spoil their mood. but eventually i needed someone to talk to so i went to look for him.

but being the kind of person that i am, when im with people my mood just gets better somehow. haha. so i joined them to walk around imm for a while. after that i received a call from an agent for a viewing at bkt batok which is near mrt. and guess what.. they were so steady to pei me go see the house. haha. it means alot to me.. and i guess in the near future i will be viewing places with jh and a few of his friends cos it's better that way.. my dad is very bz and drained out from our current family saga and some things he say can be quite hurtful to me. and since he has given me all the responsibility of choosing, i have all the flexibility of choice.

to the guys and gals who accompanied me today.. really thank you.. :) i guess it's things like this which i miss out on by having studied in a girls' school. ive had a few close friends, however our paths split and they went on to jc.. hence we couldnt keep in contact much. and from what i can see, secondary school friends are the ones who you stick to during poly.. like ber and jh. so i kinda missed out on that. haha. thankful that jh's friends don mind my presence too. haha.

during this period im feeling an increased dependency on jh emotionally. im not sure if it's a good thing.. cos if i just leave it as it is, it will grow into something more serious in the future. like someone in my family now. that dependency will be very dangerous then, to the point whereby my dad's job is on the line because of that dependency.. i dont hope for myself to become like that. and as a girl, emotions can get the better of me sometimes. that's y i need to shift it to God.. doesnt mean that there's no need for friends anymore.. but depending on God is important.. otherwise the dependency on a person will be never-ending. and even though guys say it's ok for you to depend on them.. there's always a limit to it.. otherwise they'll get irritated... right... XD

when i came home i just knocked out on the bed. so tired. woke up at 11.30. wonder what im gonna do for the night. haha.