study and i just dont go together. why havent i been updating? cause ive been working all week. while studying when there are no customers.
im getting so afraid of this lack of motivation to study. i absolutely cannot study when im home alone. or when im given an exclusive amount of time to mug my brains out; like during study week. i just get so pressurised that im supposed to mug all day. and if i fail to do so, i'll get stressed. arggghh.
i have no motivation left. and getting very scared that the worst will happen. no motivation left to pursue tertiary education. actually, im ok with studying at work. cause i feel like there's not much time left and hence i have to faster study before customers come in. nearly had a good mind to ask my boss if i could come in and work today. but there'll be too many people working, if i did so.
it's horrible to be an early bloomer. i just keep feeling that studying all these rubbish is so useless. but this mindset will only serve to disadvantage me. but after mugging all that o levels A math, chem and bio which i practically will not use, can i be blamed for feeling this way. goodness.
