Wifeology

came across this in polytalks. very funny. XD

'Wifeology'

• My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney
Dangerfield
• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle

• I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "Therewas water in the
carburetor." I asked her , "Where's the car?" She replied,"In the lake."
-Henny Youngman
• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman

• after a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.

• I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to Interrupt
her.
• My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two
girlfriends.

• A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

• Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

• A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

• Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country,
son.
• Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; then it was too late.

• A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same : "You can have
mine."

• A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And
what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire."
she replied,

• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

• It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.

• Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible –Henny Youngman

• Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
Thinking they had no faults at all.

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.


• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.

• First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive.